Smiling Back IV
by RogueAngel
Summary: Kate and Danny begin their life together
1. Default Chapter

Smiling Back IV  
By RogueAngel  
Rogueangel1998@yahoo.com  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, I'm just borrowing them.  
Summary: The beginning of Danny and Kate's life together.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
August 14, 1945  
Tennessee  
  
Danny stood on the porch watching Grace and little Danny run around the yard with Ramsey yapping at their heels. He looked at his watch - about 15 more minutes and they'd have to get into their party clothes. Kate and Evelyn were right; there was no sense in getting them all fancied up until just before the wedding. They'd only get dirty.  
  
The screen door opened behind him and he heard Rafe's steps.  
  
"How's it going in there?" he asked his friend.  
  
"Fine, fine," Rafe told him, coming to stand next to him, an infant in his arms. "Sammy boy here woke up a bit early, so he's fed and happy. Now Ev and Kate are back to fussing about their hair and lipstick." Both men grinned. "Minister show up yet?"  
  
"Not yet," Danny looked at his watch again. "It's early."  
  
Rafe looked him over carefully. "Then what are you so anxious for? You're not nervous are you?'  
  
Danny looked at him startled. "Nervous? No, I'm not nervous. Not at all." He smiled, reaching to take his son from Rafe's arms. "I've been waiting for this day for a long time. Haven't I Sam?" The baby gurggled a bit, trying to stuff his father's tie into his mouth. Expertly Danny retrieved his tie and handed his son a toy to gnaw on.  
  
"Then what are you waiting for?" Rafe asked, his eyes watching the kids in the yard. "Danny! Don't even think about climbing up there!" he called to his son. Caught, the three year old frowned and climbed down from the tree sheepishly. Both Danny and Rafe smiled at his forlorn look.  
  
"You are going to have your hands full in a few years," Danny told his friend, laughing softly.   
  
"Yeah, well, your hands aren't too empty now," Rafe pointed out, nodding to Grace who was trying to get into the chicken coop. "And if this one,' he nodded toward Sam, "is anything like those two, then you are in for one hell of a ride."  
  
"Grace!" Danny called, rolling his eyes at Rafe. "Get away from the chicken coop."  
  
"But daddy, I want....." she started to argue.  
  
"No Grace," Danny told her firmly. Seeing her frown, he relented slightly. "After the wedding we can get a chick out." Her face lit up. "But only after, you understand?"  
  
"Yes!" she called excitedly, racing after Danny to tell him the good news.  
  
"Softie," Rafe whispered under his breath. "She's got you wrapped around her finger," he joked.  
  
Danny smiled. "She's had me like that for a long time," he admitted. "Just wait until you have a girl." Rafe frowned slightly at this, but didn't respond.  
  
A comfortable silence desended over the two friends as they stood on the porch. "So who are you waiting for?" Rafe asked again.  
  
Sighing, Danny looked over at Rafe. "I invited some guests, only I don't know if they're going to show or not."  
  
Rafe looked surprised. "I thought it was only going to be us and the minister."  
  
"Well, it was," Danny told him, looking slightly uncomfortable. "But when I was in New York the last time I ran into Kate's father. I'm pretty sure it wasn't an accident because he knew who I was seeing and what I was doing there. He apologized for his decision to leave me in China. I think he really wanted to know how Kate was doing. She sends back all his letters unopened and will only communicate with his lawyer," he told his friend. "He asked when we were getting married and I told him and invited him to come," Danny shrugged, still not sure what had possessed him. "I think it would be good for him to talk to Kate. She still loves him, despite everything, and I think he wants a chance to make things up to her."  
  
Rafe thought about it for a minute. "Does Kate know?"  
  
Danny shook his head. "I don't know whether they are coming or not, so I didn't want her to get all worked up."   
  
Rafe nodded in understanding. "I spoke to Jason Freeman," Rafe said, changing the topic.  
  
"Why?" Danny glanced over at his friend curiously.  
  
"I wanted to talk to him about getting your land back to you." Danny started shaking his head, but Rafe continued talking. "I know we talked about this. You want to teach so you don't need the land, but I just don't feel right keeping it in my name. While you're away at college I can work the land like I have been and take a part of the profits. The land should be in your name. It's your land by right, Danny," Rafe told his friend. "I don't want it."  
  
"Neither do I, Rafe," Danny argued. "What am I going to do with a bunch of farm land? I don't mind working on the farm to help you, but I don't want to own one. I don't want the respondsibility. I want to teach. Mr. Johnstone at the high school already said that he'd have a job for me when I finished my degree. That's what I want to do. I don't need the land. And we don't need the money from the sale of the crops."  
  
"I wouldn't mind buying it from you," Rafe offered.  
  
"I don't want to sell it to you," Danny told his friend a bit harsher than he meant too.  
  
"Well, why the hell not?!" Rafe asked, taken aback by Danny's tone.  
  
Danny sighed, shifting Sam to his other arm. "That's not what I meant," he tried to explain. "I don't want to sell the land to you - I don't need the money - I want you to have it. Farming is what you do, Rafe, it's in your blood and you enjoy it. I don't mind helping out, but I've never liked it the way you have. I want you to have the land, okay? We've been through a lot together, and I guess, it's my way of saying.....thanks," Danny ended awkwardly.   
  
"It's too much," Rafe began, but Danny interrupted.  
  
"I'm not just giving it to you, Rafe," he said exasperated. "Someday this land will pass down to Danny....and any other children that you and Evelyn have. I want them to have this - from me." He looked over at Rafe, willing his friend to understand that he needed to do this.   
  
Rafe thought about it for a moment, finally seeing Danny's true motivations. This wasn't about charity or thanks, this is was about wanting to give something to his son. "Fine," he agreed reluctantly. "For Danny."  
  
A smile crossed Danny's relieved face. "And any other kids you plan on having," he reminded his friend.  
  
Rafe nodded uncomfortably, looking of into the distance. "Well," he began hesitantly. "It might just be Danny."  
  
Surprised by his words, Danny looked questioningly over at Rafe. Rafe tried to smile, but it didn't work. Danny began to worry. "What's up, Rafe?" he asked.  
  
Rafe shrugged. "Nothing," he told his friend. "Nothing's wrong, it's just....well, we've been trying to have a baby for over a year now and nothing's happened. I know Evelyn's starting to get worried that something might be wrong and well, if something is....." he trailed off. "I don't think that I can be a father," he finally stated.  
  
Danny was confused. "Of course you can. You're a great father."  
  
"That's not what I meant," Rafe explained, his eyes focused straight ahead. "I mean I don't think that I can...*be* a father. Evelyn didn't have any problems getting pregnant with Danny and there were no complications before or after he was born. If there's a problem now, then it's probably mine. I don't think I can father children."  
  
Danny just stared at his friend in shocked silence. He could see the pain in Rafe's face; how difficult it was for him to talk about this. "You can't know that for sure," Danny said, trying to find some way to bolster Rafe's confidence. "These things can take time. You don't....."  
  
"You haven't had a problem," Rafe said bitterly.  
  
Involuntarily Danny took a step back, feeling as if Rafe had sucker punched him in the gut. "Rafe..." he began, not quite knowing what to say.  
  
"Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry Danny," Rafe apologized, his hand running over his face. "I didn't mean that."  
  
Danny looked at his friend closely. "Yes you did," he said softly.  
  
Rafe looked over at his friend, seeing the sadness in his eyes. "Yeah," he agreed, "maybe I did."  
  
They stood silently for awhile. Neither one ready to talk yet. In the months since Danny's return relations between everyone had gone along smoothly. They had talked about many of the issues that could have been stumbling blocks that first night and it was almost like old times. Evelyn and Kate's friendship grew stronger. Rafe and Evelyn's marriage remained as strong as it was before, and Danny and Kate's relationship blossomed as it had promised to in China. It was only between Rafe and Danny that a tension still remained. For the most part things between the two men were as they had always been - best friends and brothers, but there were times when there was an underlying tension - especially when they were dealing with the kids.  
  
Danny had recognized this and tried to compensate for it. When he first arrived he was a novelty to little Danny. Grace wanted to do everything with her dandy, and because little Danny usually followed her lead, so did he. It hurt Rafe, though he understood why the children acted like that. Danny tried to include Rafe, but it didn't always work. Only one person at a time can tell a story.  
  
There was also the fact that Danny had been a father for longer than Rafe. He was a more relaxed parent because he had been through so much with Grace. He had helped raise her for two years, while Rafe had been absent from little Danny's life for the same amount of time. Rafe had only settled into raising a child when Kate had shown up and her shocking news threw the new family, and Rafe specifically, into turmoil. Little Danny loved Rafe, but in some ways there was a bond missing between them and Rafe felt it's absence. That was one of the reason why Danny had chosen the University of Tennessee instead of the small college nearby. If he and Kate and the kids were gone for a few years, that would give little Danny and Rafe a chance to bond again, without any other influences. And yet, they were still close enough to come home for the holidays. It had seemed like a good idea at the time.  
  
But now, if Rafe and Evelyn couldn't have kids....that made things all the more difficult. Rafe had changed slightly since Sam was born. There were times when Danny caught him watching Sam with such a wistful expression and when Danny would play with his son Rafe would sometimes leave the room. Danny had thought it odd, but now he understood. How would Rafe feel if he and Kate and their children lived nearby and he still had none of his own in five years? Danny knew that Rafe thought of little Danny as his own and that he would always love him, but someday little Danny would find out that he wasn't really Rafe's son, that biologically he was Danny's. That would be hard for everyone, but if Rafe had no other children what would that do to him?  
  
Rafe cleared his throat, interrupting Danny's worried thoughts. "I'm, uh, sorry," he said hesitantly.  
  
Danny looked over at him. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, Rafe," he told him.  
  
"I shouldn't have said..what I said," Rafe told him, shaking his head. "It wasn't fair...it wasn't right for me to say that."  
  
"If you said it then it must have been bothering you for awhile," Danny replied, wanting his friend to finally open up. "I'd rather hear it straight out then not at all."  
  
"But today is...."  
  
"It doesn't matter, Rafe," Danny told him. "You are my best friend. I love you, and if something is bothering you I want to know. This wedding is just a formality for me and Kate. It's not as important as you; as us. We'll be leaving tomorrow and we won't see you again until Christmas. I don't want something festering between us."  
  
"It's not between us, Danny. It's me. It's all me." Rafe ran his hand through his hair, looking off in the distance.   
  
"But it's affecting us," Danny pointed out. "I know you better than just about anyone, Rafe. And I've known something's been bothering you for awhile now. I was hoping that by leaving and giving you some space...."  
  
"I don't want you to leave because of me, Danny," Rafe interrupted. "This is your home as much as it's mine."  
  
Danny smiled softly, seeing that Rafe really meant it. "I'm glad." He waited for Rafe to continue.   
  
Rafe frowned as he thought about what he wanted to say to his friend. "It's never bothered me that Danny isn't really mine," he began slowly. "He's a part of Evelyn....and you, and I love him. I guess you can understand that, what with Grace and all. It's just...." He shook his head in frustration. "This has nothing to do with Danny. I want you to understand that," he looked over at his friend.  
  
"Okay," Danny replied frowning slightly, not sure where Rafe was going with this.  
  
"When we thought you were dead...I felt like part of me was missing," Rafe began. "It was the most horrible feeling in the world, but I had Evelyn and eventually little Danny to....help make me whole again. Evelyn and I never really talked about what happened while I was in France. I tried not to think about it. I undertood why....it happened between the two of you, and that was enough....." he sighed, "until you came home." Danny looked over at Rafe, surprised by his admission. "I forgave you along time ago - if it was ever my place to do so. You thought I was dead, things happen. No one meant to hurt anyone, I know that, but now, seeing you with Evelyn......I didn't expect to feel so.....jealous," he finally admitted.  
  
Danny's eyes widened in shock. "Rafe, there's nothing going on........"  
  
"I know that, you idiot," Rafe told him. "It's your past together that I'm having problems dealing with. There are things that Evelyn knows about you, or about us as kids that I haven't told her ....things you know about her...I didn't think about it when you were...dead....but now I see it every day. Little things. The way you relate to each other. I know you both so well, yet there is this....chapter...that I'm missing, that only you two know." He ran his hand through his hair, looking over at Danny briefly. "Jesus, you even slept with my wife before I did."  
  
This surprised Danny. "You didn't...." Danny started to ask before he thought better of it.  
  
"No we didn't," Rafe told him. "Not that it matters, really."  
  
"It seems that it matters to you," Danny said softly. He cleared his throat uncomfortably, feeling the need to explain some things to Rafe. "We were together only five or six weeks before you came back," he began awkwardly. "We spent a lot of time together, but mostly with the group - Red, Billie, Joe, Tony, Betty, Sandra, Gooz. We talked a lot about you; about our childhood. We just plain talked a lot. It was a relief to be with someone who shared the same grief. Both of us had lost you when you were shot down, Rafe. We were both carrying around the same pain." He glanced over at his friend, trying to decide how much more he wanted to say. "If it makes any difference, we only...slept together... once. It was totally unplanned and...it never happened again."  
  
"Once?" Rafe asked.  
  
"Yeah," Danny nodded solemnly.  
  
Rafe closed his eyes, chuckling softly.   
  
Of all the reactions, this was not the one Danny expected. "What's so funny?" he asked, at a loss to explain Rafe's reaction.  
  
"You sure do have a way with women," Rafe said, shaking his head ruefully.  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Danny asked defensively.  
  
"It means," Rafe said, a frown now on his face, "that I've been trying to get Evelyn pregnant for over a year, and you managed it in one - unplanned - night. How long did it take for Kate to get pregnant? I got the feeling from listening to you guys that you didn't ....get together...or whatever, until just before she left."   
  
Danny looked away from his friend, his cheeks flushing hotly. "What's your point, Rafe?" Danny asked, a note of hostility in his voice; his eyes hard.  
  
"It means," Rafe began, his voice suddenly thick, his eyes locked onto Danny's profile, "that you gave Evelyn something I haven't been able to - a child." He looked away, blinking rapidly. "It means that I look at Sam, and I look at Evelyn and I see the longing in her face. I look at Danny and know that he's not just my son - he's ours, yours and mine. I see you with Sam, watching him grow and change, being his father...and I realize all that I've lost because of the damn war! I missed out on Danny's infancy. I missed all of his firsts because I was in a goddamn plane and now I'm realizing that all those things might be forever lost to me. I will probably never hold a baby of mine and watch it grow up. And I'm so damn grateful that I at least have Danny, but I'm as jealous as hell of what you have. I want that for me and Evelyn. I want Danny to have brothers and sisters," Rafe's voice cracked.  
  
Whatever hostility Danny had been beginning to feel suddenly drained away. He could see how much this pained Rafe. He could hear the tears in his voice.  
  
"I'm sorry," Danny said softly.  
  
Rafe sighed, wiping a tear from his cheek. "For what? For living your life? For loving your wife? For wanting a family?" Rafe shook his head. "Don't get me wrong, Danny. I am happy for you. Kate is a great girl and I see how much you love each other. I wish you all the happiness in the world. You have two wonderful kids and I hope you have more." He looked over at Danny briefly, smiling fondly when he noticed that Sam had fallen asleep in his father's arms. "The past...is the past. I'm going to have to learn to deal with it. And as for the future, well, I'm going to have to learn to deal with that too."  
  
"You don't know for sure..." Danny began.  
  
"No, I don't," Rafe admitted. "But I'm pretty sure."  
  
Danny sighed. "Maybe," he began, his heart starting to beat loudly in his chest. "Maybe Kate and I should move somewhere else after I graduate. I..."  
  
"Don't you do that Danny," Rafe told him vehemently. "Don't you stay away. This is your home and you belong here. I love you. And I love Kate and Grace and Sam. You are my family and you belong here. I just need time. These past months have been difficult and I'm dealing with things I had never....expected to. It really has nothing to do with you. Like I said. It's me. It's all me."  
  
"Are you sure?" Danny asked hesitantly. He didn't like the idea that he was causing Rafe pain yet again, but he knew there was nothing he could do about it. He guessed that if Evelyn had been pregnant then none of this would have ever come up.  
  
"Of course I'm sure," Rafe smiled. It didn't quite reach his eyes, but it was warmer than it had been. "We're family. Land of the free..."  
  
"Home of the brave," Danny answered, smiling back at his friend.  
  
Rafe looked away from his Danny. "Minister's here," he nodded toward the old truck puttering it's way up the drive. "Time to get the kids dressed. Danny! Grace!" he called. "Time to come in!" he started walking down the porch steps in search of the kids. "I'll take care of these guys. You entertain the reverend."  
  
"Thanks a lot," Danny called after him.  
  
Rafe laughed, seeing Danny's discomfort. "There's only so much I'll do for family and entertaining that old windbag isn't one of them!"  
  
Danny laughed softly as he followed his friend down the stairs, moving to intercept the incoming truck.   
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
The sun was beginning to set, casting a golden glow over the fields. The wheat waved slightly in the cooling breeze, it's rustling adding to the music of crickets and bullfrogs hidden in the weeds of the old swimming pond. Fireflies began flickering, their fairy lights enhancing the magical feel of the evening.  
  
Danny stopped at the crest of the small hill that overlooked the swimming pond, pulling Kate into his arms. Kate was was content to rest there, her head aginst his chest, listening to his stong, steady heartbeat as she watched the sky slowly change color.  
  
"It's beautiful," she whipsered.  
  
Danny leaned down to press a kiss against her head, his cheek resting on top of her head. "Yes, it is," he agreed. He chuckled softly. "Though everything seems smaller than I remember."  
  
"You were just a kid when you left," Kate pointed out, giving him a good natured squeeze.  
  
"I wasn't that young," he protested. "I was......18. God," he shook his head in disbelief. "That was ten years ago!"  
  
"Hmmmm," Kate murmured. "You've been through a lot in eight years. Seen a lot, done a lot. That will definitely change your perspective of home."  
  
"Yeah, I guess," Danny agreed. "Did it change yours?" he asked.  
  
"My perspective of home?" Kate asked. Danny nodded. "I guess. Being in China, and especially being with you, made me realize how...cold and superficial everything in my life was." She looked up at him, her eyes glowing with love. "Sometimes I feel like I never really lived until I met you. That I was just waiting for you to come along and....love me."  
  
Danny smiled down at her, his hand carressing her cheek. "I know exactly how you feel," he whispered as he leaned down to kiss her. Their lips met softly at first, barely more than the mingling of breath, but as Kate's hands stretched up his chest and tangled in his hair, Danny deepened the kiss with a small groan. Kate raised up onto her toes, pressing her body more intimately against his, feeling his response in the hardening of his body. A small purr of satisfaction from Kate caused Danny to pull her even more tightly against him, his mouth slanting feverently over hers; lips tugging, tongues softly carressing. Hands tangling in her hair, Danny made love to Kate with his mouth, amazed at the pasion she could ignite in him so easily.  
  
Pulling away slowly, Danny smiled at how labored their breathing had become. He rested his forehead against Kate's, kissing her nose gently. "I love you so much," he told her, his hands rubbing up and down her arms.  
  
"It's a good thing, too," Kate grinned at him. "You did marry me today."  
  
Danny smiled a rare full fledged smile, taking Kate's breath away. "Lucky me."  
  
Kate moved to kiss him again, but he moved away after a moment, holding her close instead.  
  
"Unless you want to end up making love right here in the grass..." he trailed off, laughing as she seriously contemplated the idea. "No," he told her, kissing quickly. Seeing her crestfallen expression he grinned. "Not that I'm adverse to the idea. Just not on our wedding night."  
  
Kate pretended to pout, doing a fair imitation of Grace. "What does it matter, you've already had your cake..."  
  
Danny laughed lightly and Kate smiled. "I'm sorry about that," he told her. "Reverend Thomas was always a bit of an ass."  
  
"Really?" Kate asked in mock surprise. "I thought all wedding ceremonies included lectures on premarital relations."  
  
"Yeah, I know, it was a bit much," Danny frowned. "I wanted Reverend O'Hara, he was a friend of Rafe's dad, but he was out of town."  
  
Kate smiled. "Don't worry about it, Danny," she told him. "Everything was perfect." A sly grin spread accross her face. "I thought it was highly entertaining how red his face turned when he found out that Sam was ours."  
  
Danny laughed, shaking his head. "You have a devilish streak in you, despite your angelic little face," he told her. "I thought he was going to have a stroke right there."  
  
Kate had the grace to look a little sheepish. "Well, he was being so self righteous and condescending!" she defended herself. "He doesn't know anything about us or our history. I just wanted to annoy him."  
  
"I noticed."  
  
"Well, at least he didn't stay much longer after that," Kate offered. "He was eating everything in sight!"  
  
"I think he left," Danny teased, "because you told him it didn't matter whether we were married or not. Very shocking and improper!" he tsked.  
  
"It's the truth," Kate said unrepetantly. "As long as we're together it doesn't matter to me. Married or not, being together is what is important."  
  
Danny leaned down to look into her eyes. "Well, I for one am glad that you decided to make an honest man out of me."  
  
Kate grinned. "Me too."  
  
Kissing her softly, Danny said a little prayer of thanks. Ten years ago he never would have dreamed that his life would have taken the turns that it had, but despite all the pain and confusion he was thankful that it had led him to Kate.  
  
Pulling away, he took her hand. "We should head back," he told her. "I bet Sam is pretty hungry by now."  
  
"I suppose," Kate agreed forlornly. "Mooooo!" Danny laughed as she knew he would. She looked up at him. "Did I tell you that he's going to sleep in Rafe and Evelyn's room tonight?" she asked.  
  
"Really?" Danny asked, his eyebrows raised.  
  
Kate felt herself blushing. "Well, we've never actually made love in a room by ourselves," she pointed out. "First Grace and now Sam. I thought it would be nice if we didn't have to worry about being....quiet."  
  
Danny laughed. "Oh, really?" he said suggestively.  
  
Kate nudged him with her shoulder as they walked. "It was Evelyn's idea!"  
  
"Well then I guess I'll have to thank her." Kate laughed and they continued in silence, enjoying the peaceful evening.  
  
"Kate," Danny began after they had walked for a few minutes, a frown creasing his brow.  
  
Sensing the change in his mood Kate looked over worriedly. "What?" she coaxed.  
  
He glanced down at her, seeing her open expression. "Does it...does it...bother you that....Evelyn." he fumbled for words. Looking away from her caring eyes he focused on the road in front of them. He didn't know why he was asking her this now, but his conversation with Rafe earlier that day had never left his mind. "Does it bother you that Evelyn and I have a .....past....together?" he finally asked.  
  
Kate frowned, taking his question seriously. "No," she answered honestly. "It doesn't bother me. Now."  
  
"Now," Danny repeated, hazarding a quick glance over at her.  
  
"Yes, now," Kate replied. "In China it used to bother me a lot - whenever I let myself think about it. Mostly because I didn't know what your past together was," she told him, "and because I didn't know what was between us."  
  
"And when you found out...." Danny prodded, wanting to know how see really felt.  
  
Kate shrugged. "Well, when you told me about Evelyn...and Danny, you also told me that you loved me. Don't get me wrong," she hastened to add. "I wasn't always this confident. I was terrified to finally meet Evelyn," she admitted with a small smile. "I was prepared to hate her, or at least really dislike her."  
  
"Really?" Danny asked, surprised because that didn't sound like Kate.  
  
"Sure," Kate admitted. "But I couldn't do it. You had loved her....she had to be a good person, and I saw almost immediatly how much she loved Rafe." Kate laughed softly to herself. "Did I ever tell you about our first meeting?"  
  
Danny nodded, frowning slightly. "Rafe said that you passed out.."  
  
"Yes," Kate interrupted, knowing that Danny didn't like thinking how sick she had been with him half a world away. "I fainted and Rafe carried me inside. When I finally woke up Rafe and Evelyn were arguing. I don't remember what Evelyn was saying, but Rafe said something like: 'I have no idea who she is and I am not that little girl's father!'"  
  
Danny choked. "Really?"  
  
"Yep." Kate smiled.  
  
Danny shook his head. "That's....that's.."  
  
"Ironic?" Kate provided. Danny nodded. "So you see," Kate continued, "I knew right away that they loved each other and I didn't feel threatened by her." Kate cleared her throat uncomfortably, sneaking a peek up at Danny's profile. "We also, kind of talked about you...and her...and what happened." Danny raised an eyebrow in question, wondering what exactly was said. "We didn't go into detail or anything," she hastened to add. "I got the feeling that Evelyn never had a chance to talk about what happened. To talk about you." Kate shruggd. "I think she just need to ...close the chapter on that part of her life, so to speak."  
  
"And she couldn't talk to Rafe," Danny said softly.  
  
"No she couldn't," Kate agreed. They walked silently for a few paces. "So where did all this come from? Does Rafe have a problem with you and Evelyn?"  
  
"How'd you...." Danny began, surprised.  
  
"Know?" Kate finished for him. "Well, it has to be Rafe. If it was me you were worried about you would have asked me before the wedding. But besides that, I've been talking with Evelyn. We've both noticed a change in him," she paused briefly. "I know they've been tring to have a baby for awhile now."  
  
Danny let out a long breath. "Yeah. He doesn't think he can be a father," Danny admitted. "He thinks he's the problem."  
  
Kate nodded sadly. "That's what Evelyn was afraid of, but he won't talk about it. It can't be easy for Rafe to be thinking that," she said. "And then to see you with Sam and Grace...and Danny," she added softly.  
  
"Yeah," Danny agreed. "That's part of it...the kids, but he also said he and Evelyn never talked about what happened at Pearl while he was in France. I get the feeling that he just kind of put it out of his mind, like he always does with things that are...painful or unpleasant. But now that I'm back......he's...jealous," he told her. "Evelyn and I have moved on, but Rafe is still.....dealing with it. I can't help thinking that if they had a baby, if Evelyn was pregnant, then none of this would be an issue. But because Danny is....mine and Rafe thinks he can't....." Danny shrugged hopelessly. "I just feel so bad. I'm hurting Rafe again." He paused, thinking. "Rafe was an only child and his parents......"  
  
"You know it's not your fault, Danny," Kate interrupted suddenly.  
  
Danny looked down at her curiously. "What do you mean?"  
  
"It's not your fault that they haven't been able to have kids."  
  
He still didn't understand her meaning. He never thought that he was the cause. "What do you mean, Kate? I didn't think I was the cause, I mean, I couldn't be....it's not like I have anything to do with it," he told her.  
  
"Oh, okay," Kate replied a bit flustered. "Never mind."  
  
Danny stopped walking, trying to get her to look up at him. "No," he said firmly. "What are you talking about?"  
  
Kate slumped. She hadn't meant to open this can of worms. She sighed. "When you mentioned Rafe's parents and that he was an only child I thought that you knew and I didn't want you to worry."  
  
"Knew? Knew what?" he questioned with a frown. She wasn't making any sense.  
  
"Knew why Rafe was an only child," she explained, though her answer didn't clear anything up.  
  
"What has that got to do with Rafe and Evelyn?" Danny asked.  
  
Kate sighed again. "Rafe doesn't have any brothers or sisters because his parents had different blood types." Danny looked even more confused so she tried to explain more clearly. "Look, Evelyn's the nurse, so I don't really understand," she warned him, "but if one parent has a positive blood type and the other has a negative one, then they can have one baby, but probably can't conceive again because the mother's body would have built up an ...a resisitance to the other blood type...or something like that." Even in the coming darkness Kate could see the color draining from Danny's face. "But that's not the case here," Kate rushed on. "You and Rafe are the same blood type, O+, and Evelyn is a positive too."  
  
"Jesus," Danny whispered. "I...that..."  
  
"It's not your fault and I'm really sorry that I brought it up," Kate told him, grabbing both of his hands to get his attention. "Evelyn doesn't know what the problem is, or even if there is a problem," Kate said with a sigh. "Sometimes these things just take time."  
  
Danny laughed humorlessly, hearing his words to Rafe repeated back to him.  
  
"What?" Kate asked.  
  
He shook his head. "Nothing."  
  
"I think Rafe just needs some time," Kate finally said. "Time alone with Evelyn and Danny. They can talk and work things out."  
  
"Yeah," Danny agreed, beginning to walk towards the house again. "I just wish..." he trailed off.  
  
"I know," Kate told him softly. "You want them to be happy. But that's out of your control. A lot can happen in the next couple years, you know."  
  
Danny smiled and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. "I know."  
  
They path they followed led them through the wheat fields. Just when Kate could see the roof to the house, Danny stopped. Looking up she saw a strange expression on his face.  
  
"What? What is it?" she asked. Obviously he could see something that she couldn't. She tried standing on tip toe, but could still see nothing. When she tried to continue Danny pulled her back.  
  
Placing his hands on her shoulders he squatted down to look into her eyes. "There's something I forgot to tell you about my last trip to New York," he said slowly, an intense look in his eyes.  
  
"Okay," Kate responded, a feeling of dread pooling in her stomach.  
  
Danny took a deep breath, hoping that she was ready to hear this. "I ran into your father while I was there and..." he hesitated, "and I kind of invited him to the wedding."  
  
"You what?" she exclaimed, her eyes widening in shock. Without waiting for an answer Kate spun on her heel and started walking back towards the pond as fast as her legs would carry her.  
  
Running his hand through his hair in frustration, Danny sighed. Cursing softly under his breath he turned to go after her.  
  
  



	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
"Kate! Kate!" Danny called after her. "Stop. Would you please just stop?!" he pleaded. "Let me explain," he said as he finally came up beside her. For such a tiny thing she could move fast when she wanted to, but her legs were no match for his.  
  
"I can't believe you invited my father to my wedding," she hissed, refusing to look up at him.  
  
"Our wedding," Danny corrected her.  
  
She glared at him. "Whatever." She continued to stride along the path, her cheeks flushed in anger. "You know how I feel about him! I can't believe..."  
  
"Yes!" Danny interrupted, stepping in front of her. Grabbing her arms he bent to look into her flashing green eyes. "Yes, I do know how you feel about him," he told her softly. "You feel hurt and betrayed and angry and afraid..."  
  
"Harrumf," Kate snorted, looking away from Danny's intense gaze as her eyes began to fill with tears. Her bravada was not fooling Danny at all.  
  
"Yes. Afraid," he repeated pulling her into his arms and pressing her cheek against his chest. "Afraid of being rejected, afraid of getting hurt." Kate stood stiffly as he stroked her back. "Afraid that he doesn't love you," he whispered softly into her hair. Her lip quivered. They never really talked about her father, but Danny knew Kate well enough to guess what the problem was. Looking down at her, he stroked her face softly, hoping she could see how much he loved her and would always be there for her.   
  
Seeing all the love in his eyes, the dam finally broke and Kate began to cry, her arms wrapping tightly around Danny. "Sh, sh. It's okay," he whispered. "It's okay."  
  
"But he left you behind," she whispered brokenly. "He knew about Micheal and he knew that I was with you and he still gave the order to leave you behind."  
  
"Sh," Danny soothed, holding her close. "I know he did, but he apologized."  
  
Kate looked up at him, her face streaked with tears. "He did? When?"  
  
"When I was in New York last month," Danny explained. "I had that meeting with General Norman to finish off all the paperwork. When I came out of the meeting he was waiting for me. He knew what I was doing there and who I was meeting. Hell," Danny shrugged, "he knew who I was. I didn't recognize him, even after he introduced himself."  
  
"That's not surprising," Kate interjected, her tears slowing. Her heart was beating furiously in her chest. She had done her best to put her family out of her mind. She wasn't prepared to be confronted with them today of all days. She had tried to convince herself that she was dead to them now and vice versa, after all, she had left New York without a backward glance and then married a....a penniless pilot, no matter that he was an officer and a hero. He didn't have money and he wasn't part of 'Society'. Her parents could not be happy about that. Her entire life had been regimented by what was proper and acceptable. Leaving one's husband, having an affair with a socially unsuitable man, and then having a baby out of wedlock...these were sins that her mother and father were not likely to forgive. Kate shuddered, feeling like she was about to face a firing squad. She told herself that she didn't need their approval, that she had done what her heart knew was right, but there was still that small part of her, the part that was still nine years old, that only wanted to know that her father loved her.  
  
Danny hugged her. "Are you ready to go and talk to him?"  
  
"I don't have a choice, do I?" she asked, her voice a soft whisper in the quiet night. Trying to regain some sense of balance, she looked up at Danny with a wry grin. "Unless you let me seduce you right here. It would be very romantic to make love under the stars on our wedding night."  
  
Danny smiled slightly, knowing that she was trying to be brave. "I'd hate for Rafe to have to come out and look for us....could be embarrassing."  
  
Sighing, Kate stepped away from him. "Okay. Let's go. I don't guess that he'll go away."  
  
"That's my girl," Danny said, taking her hand as they walked. "I'll be right there with you."  
  
"You better be," Kate told him. "Because it's your fault that he's here." There was no anger in her voice, just resignation.  
  
The walk back to the house was far shorter than Kate had hoped. Each step felt like she was walking through mud, her feet dragging, her spirits getting further and further bogged down with dread. Her father had never raised his voice to her, yet one look could rip her to shreds. She told herself that she should be stronger, that he no longer mattered in her life. Danny loved her. Danny was her family now and she didn't need anyone else, but years of searching for her father's love stood in the way. In her 25 years of life she could not recall one time that he had told her that he loved her, or that he was proud of her. Sometimes she doubted that he was even capable of love, but that hadn't kept her from coming back like a puppy who had been swatted on the nose by her master, tail wagging slowly between her legs.   
  
But not this time, she resolved, her back straightening. This time she wouldn't let him see the hurt, the need. Because she didn't need his love and she certainly didn't need his approval. Not anymore. She was a widow, and a wife, and a mother of two children. She had lived through a horrible marriage and survived life in a detention camp. She didn't need anything from her father.  
  
She had almost convinced herself of this by the time they had reached the house.   
  
Almost.  
  
  



	4. chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
Kate stopped at the top of the porch stairs, steeling herself for what was to come. As she stood staring down at the worn boards of the landing, voices began echoing in her ears. A conversation that had taken place years ago, but still remained a fresh wound on her heart. It played out, once again, before her sightless eyes. Unable to stop it, she was forced to relive it once again, feeling all the pain that her nine year old counterpart had felt. Her father's words cutting her to the quick.  
  
"Do you love me Daddy?" her little girl's voice asked. She was standing in the doorway of her fathers office. She could still smell the rich aroma of her father's cigars; could feel the warmth of the fire that was burning in the fireplace. Her father's office had always been a place of awe to her. She had always seen him as being all-powerful in her life, but it was here that he seemed to rule the world also, at least in her young eyes.  
  
Her father sighed, leaning back in his chair. He looked down at her, his eyes dark and peircing. She tried not to squirm, but she always felt that he was taking inventory of all her faults and transgressions. "Kate, I don't have time for this," he told her, his voice harsh and impatient. Picking up a paper from his desk he dismissed her. "Go up to bed."  
  
Kate's small foot worried the edge of the carpet, her slippered foot slipping under it, kicking up the corner. "I was just wondering...." she began in a small voice. Her face felt hot, but it wasn't from the fire. Holding her hands behind her back she tried to look like a proper young lady despite her pink ruffled dressing gown. She wanted to go to her father and kiss him good night, as Julianna had done earlier, but she didn't know if it was allowed.  
  
Kate jumped when her father slammed his hand on to the desk, rattling the ice in his glass and knocking over a picture of her mother. "I'm busy!" he told her harshly. "I have a lot of money riding on this contract and I don't have time to deal with foolish little girls who are always getting into trouble. Why can't you be more like Julianna?" he asked her. "For once I would like to have some peace in this house. I've had enough headaches from you today. Now go to bed!" His eyes bore into hers, causing her face to flush even further.  
  
Trying to control the trembling of her lip, Kate turned to leave the room. "I'm sorry," she said meekly. She stopped momentarily to look back at him, his elbows resting on his desk, one hand rubbing his eyes. "I love you daddy."  
  
He didn't even look at her, just waved her off as if she was a pesky animal. "Yes, yes. Now good night Kate."   
  
She quickly scampered out of her father's office, recognizing the tone of his voice. He was not happy with her. Forcing herself to walk properly to her bed, Kate refused to cry until she was under her covers. And when she was done, she prayed that God help her to be a good girl so that one day her father would love her like he loved Julianna.  
  
As she grew older she rationalized that his words that night, though inadvertantly scarring her deeply, were not meant to hurt her. It had been 1929, the stock market had crashed, and everyone had problems, even her daddy. He didn't really mean what he said. She let herself believe that, until one fateful night when she overheard her father talking about her with his business associates.  
  
As if in a waking nightmare her nine year old self in a dressing gown transformed into a formally clad 16 year old, just returning from her first social dinner.  
  
It had been a cold night, snow just beginning to fall as Thomas had dropped her off. He had kissed her goodnight on the cheek - no lady would offer more on the first outing. The night had been enjoyable, and she had managed to hold her tongue and behave properly. Add in the kiss and she was feeling quiet happy with herself. She heard voices in the dining room and she turned towards them, wanting to see her father and tell them of her success. She had even heard Mrs. Helmsford say that she was turning into a proper young lady. Her father would be happy about that - especially after the skating rink incident last week.  
  
"She's quite intelligent," she heard a deep voice say. She thought it was Mr. Raddison, a friend of her fathers. She had always liked him. Pausing just outside the door, Kate waited for a break in the conversation. She didn't want to spoil her news by interrupting. "A real spitfire," he continued. "Not as pretty as Julianna, perhaps, but there's something to say for spirit."  
  
Her father laughed. "No one is as pretty Julianna," he bragged. Kate imagined him puffing on his cigar as he leaned back in his chair. "Julianna is the perfect daughter....Kate? Well, she is quite clever.....and headstrong and stubborn. Fine qualities in a son, but a pain in the ass in a daughter."  
  
All the men around the table chuckled heartily. Kate's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. She knew she wasn't as pretty as Julianna, but she had other qualities. She didn't think she was that bad of a daughter.  
  
"My wife told me about the...incident.. at the skating rink," a chuckling voice that Kate did not recognize said.  
  
Her father groaned in dismay, causing the others at the table to laugh even more. Kate cringed. She was nothing but a joke to these men.  
  
"I'll tell you something," he father began. "That one slip of a girl has caused me more headaches than....her mother, her sister and.....all of you combined!" More laughter followed. "I'll never get her married off. Her husband will be afraid of her outsmarting him. Her mother is in a constant dither about her low prospects. I actually had to bribe Thomas McCafferty to take her to the Wellington's tonight." Kate's heart tightened painfully. "Now, Julianna," he paused appreciatively. "She's perfect marriage material....pretty, quiet, malleable, and dumb." More male laughter filled the room, but Kate wasn't listening anymore. She turned and walked up the stairs, mortified. In just a few minutes her euphoric mood had been destroyed by her father's cruel words. It was one thing for him to think those things about her, but to laugh about it with his friends.....  
  
"Kate? Hey Kate," Danny said, wiping a lone tear from her cheek. "Are you okay?"  
  
She tried to smile. "I'm fine," she told him. "Really," she reassured him as he looked down at her skeptically. "I just got caught up in some old memories."  
  
He still looked worried, but didn't say anything. He knew how hard this was for her. Opening the door, he waited for her to enter. "Time to go in," he softly prodded.  
  
"Yeah," Kate responded, stepping into the kitchen only to be brought up short by a hideously familar laugh. She stopped so quickly that Danny bumped into her.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
She turned to leave the room, but Danny was in her way, blocking the door with his tall body. "It's my sister!" she whispered frantically. "And if she's here, that means my mother is too!"  
  
Danny looked a bit puzzled. "So?"  
  
"So?!" Kate whispered frantically. "I was expecting my father! I don't want to have to deal with them too."  
  
Grabbing her hands Danny tried to calm her down. "They're family. How bad can it be?"  
  
Kate grimaced. "You don't know my mother."  
  
With a sigh of resignation, Kate turned and walked into the kitchen, the sweet smell of the ham Evelyn had cooked earlier still in the air. She cringed inwardly at what her mother must be thinking. While Kate thought the old farmhouse was wonderful - full of life and love, her mother would only see it as old and rundown. The furniture had been passed down from Rafe's parents, but it wasn't anitique like her mother was used too. The welcoming touches of flowers and hand stitched pillows would look pathetic to her mother's more refined taste. Everything that made this farmhouse a home to Kate, her mother would hate. Kate only hoped that she could keep her disdain to herself and not insult Evelyn and Rafe.  
  
"Kate, Darling!" her mother called out from where she was perched gingerly on the sofa. Getting up gracefully she swooped down upon her daughter who had paused in the doorway, ignoring Danny totally. "Oh, Kate! My poor little dear," she said sadly as she pressed her cheek against Kate's.  
  
"Mother," Kate replied stiffly. "I wasn't expecting to see you."  
  
"Oh, my dear," her mother said dramatically, taking her hand and leading her to the couch. Kate looked back at Danny helplessly, but he just shrugged, leaning causally against the door jamb. "When your father told me the news I simply had to come!" she said dramatically, her hand patting Kate's. "And to think we were too late! I don't know why he didn't tell me sooner," she sniffed delicately.  
  
Bewildered, Kate looked at her mother. "It's okay Mother. It was a nice ceremony," she offered lamely. Looking over at Evelyn who was holding a sleeping Sam in her arms, Kate smiled apologetically. Poor Evelyn looked like she had been through the ringer dealing with her family.  
  
"'Nice?!'" her mother asked. "Kate, dear," she said sadly, stroking her face. "I wanted to get here in time to stop you." Kate's eyes widened at her mother's explanation. "You didn't have to do this, sweetheart. I know I was a bit upset about Micheal, but I'm sure you had your reasons.."  
  
"My reasons.." Kate repeated quietly, looking back and forth between her mother and her sister - who was staring at Danny with a appreciative gleam in her eyes.  
  
"Yes, dear," her mother continued, her voice trilling. "I don't pretend to understand them, but we are your family. We want what is best for you and we certainly could do better than a...pilot and farmer..he does own some land, doesn't he? That's not so bad, but, Kate, you could do so much better. We couldn't expect you to marry someone of Micheal's social position now, but we could have arranged something. You didn't have to lower yourself to..."she looked around the room, her mouth pursing in disapproval, "this!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Mother!" Kate exclaimed in embarrassment looking over at Evelyn who had stiffend in affront.  
  
"I don't mean to be rude. This is a...lovely...house, I'm sure," her mother said to Evelyn before turning back to Kate. "but you were raised better than this, Kate. You don't need to settle for a life as a farmers wife just because of one....affair. We wouldn't have to tell anyone. I know you are probably attached to this pilot, but you can get over it. Come back to your family," her mother pleaded. "We love you."  
  
Kate closed her eyes and counted slowly. Her mother had never really known her. She couldn't help it that she was so snobbish and self centered, but Kate wasn't fooled by this pretense of wanting the best for her. Her mother just didn't want others to know that her eldest daughter was married to someone so 'unworthy.'  
  
"Where's daddy?" Kate finally asked, cringing as the word came out of her mouth. She sounded like a child.  
  
Her mother waved a hand towards the door. "He's out taking a walk with that man.....Rafe," she told her, then leaning forward she whispered loudly; "Really dear, what kind of name is Rafe?"  
  
Kate glared out her mother, but Sam's cries cut her off before she could say anything. Getting up from the couch she went over to Evelyn. "I'll take him, Ev. Thanks." As she bent to pick up Sam, she mouthed 'I'm sorry,' to her friend. Evelyn smiled and squeezed her hand.   
  
"I'll just go find Rafe and your father," she said, vacating the rocking chair so that Kate could sit down. Turning to Julianna and Mrs. Williams, she nodded. "It was nice meeting you."   
  
Mrs. Williams nodded regally in return. "I'm sure," she replied, watching Evelyn exit through the kitchen. Her eyes momentarily passed over Danny who moved so that Evelyn could pass, but she looked away quickly. Turning back to Kate she began to say something but only let out a gasp of shock. "What are you doing?" she exclaimed, watching Kate as she unbuttoned her blouse.  
  
Kate rolled her eyes, taking in the twin looks of horror on her mother and Julianna's faces. "What does it look like I'm doing? I'm feeding Sam."  
  
Her mother sputtered for a few seconds before recovering. "Do you have to do that?" she asked.  
  
"Yes, mother, I do," Kate replied. "He's hungry. If it makes you uncomfortable..." she glanced over at Danny. "Could you hand me the blanket?" she asked. Danny nodded as he grabbed one of Sam's baby blankets and brought it over to her. Sitting down on the chair next to her, he faced her mother for the first time, a polite look on his face even though his insides were churning. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.  
  
"You could use a bottle," her mother told her.  
  
"I could," Kate agreed. "But I'm not going to."  
  
"When...when did this happen?" her mother asked, her hand pressed to her throat as if accosted by some fearful sight.  
  
Kate looked coldly back at her mother. "Sam was born in March."  
  
"I see," her mother said softly.  
  
"You might as well give up now, Mama," Julianna finally said. "I told you this was a bad idea. She'll never want to marry Thomas, and he wouldn't want her if she has a baby."  
  
Kate turned to look at her sister. "Concerned for my welfare, were you?"  
  
Julianna shrugged delicately, looking down at her nails. "You always land on your feet. I wasn't too worried. And you know mama," she said to her mother, "he," she nodded toward's Danny, "is not penniless. He has her money now that they're married."  
  
Danny stiffened, but Kate placed a consoling hand on his arm. "Yes, but he proposed before he knew about my money. How many men can you say that about?"  
  
Julianna's eyes narrowed, but she remained silent.  
  
"Girls, please," their mother interjected. "Don't fight. As it turns out, your father has picked out a very suitable husband for Julianna. They're to be wed next spring."  
  
"Congratulations," Kate said to her sister. "I hope he picked better for you than he did for me."" Julianna started to protest but Kate interrupted her. "I'm being terribly rude." She turned to Danny. "Danny, this is my sister, Julianna and my mother, of course. Mother, Julianna, this is my husband - Danny Walker."  
  
Mrs. Williams looked at him mildly before nodding. "Mr. Walker."  
  
Danny nodded in return. "Ma'am."  
  
Julianna in turn stuck her hand out enthusiastically. "Hello Danny," she said brightly. Kate grimaced. She knew what her sister was thinking. Danny was a very good looking man, and that meant that he was fair game to flirt with - even if he was married.  
  
"Julianna," Danny replied solemnly. He turned to look over at Kate. "I'm really sorry about this," he said softly.  
  
Kate smiled slightly. "Well, you should be," she told him. He grinned back at her.  
  
"Yes, you should be!" Kate's mother interrupted, obviously listening to their quiet conversation. "Taking advantage of my daughter like that - after all she and her husband did for you! Saving your life and the lives of your friends. And how do you repay her? By attacking her husband and causing her to miss the evacuation of the embassy. And then you impregnate her and ....and...marry her!" she finished, as if that was the most horrible thing she could think of.  
  
Both Kate and Danny stared at her dumbfounded for a moment. Finally, Kate shook her head in exasperation. "Mother, don't you ever listen? Don't you ever think for yourself?" she asked, as if speaking to a child. "Micheal was a monster - Daddy knows it, Mr. Helmsford knows it. And Danny didn't force me to do anything. I told you before - if it wasn't for Danny Grace and I would have died in China. He saved our lives, he kept us alive in the camp. He didn't force me to do anything. I wanted to marry him. I love him."  
  
"Kate you're just a child, you....." her mother began in her best mothering voice.  
  
"I'm 25 years old," Kate interrupted. "I've lived through more in the past 10 years than you have in your entire life. I've made my own decisions and I have my own opinions, and thank god they are nothing like yours! I'm going to live my life - with Danny and our children - the way that we want to. You no longer have anything to say about it. I don't want what you want and I never have! Why can't you understand that?"  
  
"I only want what's best for you and I think that your decisions have been clouded by.....lust...and..."  
  
"That's enough Jane!" an authorative voice barked out from the kitchen, causing everyone to jump.  
  
"Hello daddy," Kate said quietly as she stared at her father.  
  
"Kate," he answered, nodding slightly to Danny, a frown creasing his brow as he took in the occupants of the room.  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
Kate was shocked at how much her father had changed in the year since she had last seen him. An imposing figure despite his short stature, now his shoulders hunched inward where he used to stand tall and proud. Impeccably dressed as always, his clothes seemed to hang on his frame, as if he had recently lost weight, and his slate gray hair was thinning, becoming almost wispy. But it was his eyes that surprised her most. They had faded, from a bright penatrating blue to a dull lifeless gray; wrinkles fanning out from the corners and down his cheeks. He looked.....old.  
  
"I see your mother has been displaying her usual charm and candor," he said mockingly as everyone continued to stare at him.   
  
Clearing her throat uncomfortably, Kate continued to look at her father. "Well, you know mama," she replied as normally as possible, despite the tightness of her chest.  
  
Her father attempted a weak smile. "Yes I do," he agreed, "and I'm sorry," he said, including Rafe, Evelyn and Danny with a glance. "We do not mean to insult your hospitality, do we Jane?" he asked his wife with a hard stare.  
  
His wife looked uncomfortably around the room. "Of course not," she agreed hesitantly. "I was just trying to talk some sense into.."  
  
"That is enough," he interrupted. He turned towards Kate and Danny. "We came here today to....wish you well in your life together."  
  
Kate simply stared up at him, wondering what had happened to the father she had known, because this man only bore a passing resemblance and didn't sound like him at all.  
  
"Thank you," Danny replied finally when he realized that Kate wasn't going to. "We're glad you were able to make it."   
  
Kate's father nodded briefly in response to Danny's small speach, but his eyes - with the same penetrating gaze - stayed locked onto Kate's, waiting for her to speak. Unfortuanatly she had no idea what to say.   
  
Deciding that he was full, Sam tugged onto the floor while trying to sit up, providing a distraction for his mother. Embarrassed at being so exposed in front of her father, Kate struggled to cover herself. Danny took Sam as she quickly buttoned her blouse before reaching for the baby again, her cheeks red.  
  
"I take it this our first grandson?" her father asked, his eyes now focusing on Sam as Kate burped him sitting up on her lap.  
  
Kate nodded. "His name is Sam - Samuel Rafe," she told him.   
  
Mr. Williams nodded solemnly. "After my father. He would have been liked that," he told Kate. "He's a fine looking boy - he has your eyes."  
  
"I, uh, think so, though his coloring is more like Danny," she said awkwardly.   
  
"I can see that," her father agreed. "He'll be a fine looking boy." It wasn't so much a prediction, but a decree. It was the way her father always spoke, as if his word was law. At least that much hadn't changed. "And how is Grace?" he asked politely.  
  
"She's fine," Kate replied. Having never engaged in small talk with her father this whole conversation felt decidedly odd.  
  
There was an awkward silence, but Kate's father soon broke it. "We," he nodded to wife and younger daughter, "came here to wish you well. I," he paused, looking directly at Kate, "I came here to make amends." He smiled sadly at the look of shock that crossed over Kate's face. "I have already apologized to your husband for my earlier decision regarding his leaving China, but now I would like a chance to apologize to you - for everything."  
  
Kate inhaled deeply, surprised that her father would want to apologize to her. Never show weakness, wasn't that his moto? Admitting fault was totally uncharacteristic for him. She looked over at Danny, seeing the love and support in his eyes as he nodded faintly, encouraging her without words. "Okay," she finally whispered in reply, her eyes meeting her father's.  
  
He cleared his throat gruffly, actually looking relieved. "Good," he looked about the room, at the audience of silent people. "Would you mind if we took a...walk. I'd like to talk to you alone." Kate looked over at Danny in a panic. "Danny is welcome to come too, if you wish," her father said quickly, "but I would prefer to speak to you in private."  
  
Kate looked into Danny's eyes, trying to decide what to do. Her father's words had hurt her deeply in the past. Did she really want to subject herself to that again? Willingly? Yet, there was something different about him this time. Something that had nothing to do with his change of appearance. Danny smiled at her. "Okay," she said hesitantly as she handed Sam over to his father.  
  
"I'll be right here," Danny said quietly. She nodded tightly as she stood up. Walking across the room she led her father through the kitchen and out onto the porch. It was strange, but the feeling of trepidation that she had been feeling ever since Danny had said that he had invited her father, left her. She felt nothing. Danny's loving smile still floated in front of her. No matter what happened with her father tonight, she would still have Danny. And that was all that mattered.  
  
  
  
Kate and her father walked in silence, the chirpings of crickets the only sound, except for the their soft footsteps on the dirt path. It was dark, the sun setting long ago, but the moon was full, watching over them. Unconciously Kate led her father towards the old swimming hole she had visited earlier with Danny. She didn't mean to, but it seemed the best place to go. There she felt peaceful. There she could remember Danny's loving kiss as he held her in his arms.   
  
"He's a good man, your Danny," her father said quietly. "A very good man."  
  
Kate smiled softly. Her Danny. "Yes he is," she agreed. "I love him very much." She glanced over at her father, but couldn't make out his features. This time it was she that waited for him to speak.  
  
"I did some research on him," he said gruffly, his eyes focused on the path in front of him.  
  
"Before or after China?"  
  
He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "After."  
  
"Hmmmm," was all she said. She had figured as much, if he had known before Danny might have come home with her.  
  
"Son of a alcoholic, who eventually committed suicide," her father began to recite as if Danny were some proposed investment or real estate purchase. "Moved in with his friends, the McCawley's at the age of 12. Valedictorian of his high school class. Exemplary military record: ranked second best pilot in his flight school behind his friend, first in academics. Very Impressive." He paused. "Did you know," he asked his daughter, "that he and Rafe were the only two pilots to get off the ground during the attack on Pearl Harbor? Shot down seven planes between them." He looked over at Kate, but she didn't comment. He continued. "Promoted to Captain at the age of 25 and hand picked by Colonel Doolittle for the raid on Tokyo - a suicide mission - where he sacraficed his life to save his friend. I talked to Rafe about what happened there. I know what Danny did, what you did....and what Micheal didn't."  
  
Kate listened to her father's laundry list of Danny's accomplishments. None of it mattered to her. Yes, she was proud of Danny and what he had done, but that wasn't what she loved about him. She loved the way he made her feel, she loved the way he loved her and their children.  
  
"Why are you telling me this?" she finally asked.  
  
Her father sighed, his hand patting his pockets to locate one of his cigars. She recognized the gesture. He was rarely seen without a cigar in hand. He once claimed that the smoke helped him to think more clearly. Surprisingly, he didn't pull one out this time. "You've done well for yourself," he answered. "Better than I could have ever chosen. He's worth ten of any of the men your mother would have introduced you to. And..." he paused, his head tilted towards her in thought. "as a father, it's good to see that my daughter is well taken care of. Danny is a man of honor. He takes care of those he loves and he doesn't shirk his duties."  
  
A small snort escaped Kate. "As opposed to Micheal," she asked harshly.  
  
"Yes," her father agreed quietly, his voice low. "As opposed to Micheal."  
  
Kate stopped and looked at her father. "Do you think any of that," she waved her hand in the air, "any of Danny's wonderful accomplishments mean anything to me? I'm proud of him, yes. But that's not why I married him. That's not why I love him. There is more to a person than what can be put on a piece of paper, daddy." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him, prepared to be put in her place as usual.  
  
"You're right," he agreed, shocking her. "I've put too much importance on what people are worth on paper - pedigrees, associates, family and social connections, business alliances. It took me all my life to realize that those things don't mean a thing. You've known it all along, haven't you? You always were a clever girl," he smiled at her.  
  
Kate frowned. "Clever...headstrong and stubborn. That's me," she said coldly. "All good traits in a son, but a pain in the ass in a daughter." Her father looked at her blankly for a moment, then realization dawned. Before he could say anything Kate turned and continued up the path.  
  
Her father caught up with her when she had reached the ledge overlooking the pond. She stood there, staring out over the darkened water, doing her best to ignore her father's presence.  
  
"Kate," he said finally, "I'm sorry. I know I haven't been the best father. I've been too focused on building my business, too driven to get more and more money. It was wrong. And I'm sorry. That's the only thing I can say."  
  
Kate shrugged. "Fine, you're sorry. Is that why you're here? To tell me you're sorry and have me forgive you for being a rotten father?" she asked cruelly, a small part of her triumphant to see him flinch at her words. "Fine, then. I forgive you."  
  
"I didn't come up here to ask for your forgiveness, Kate," he said sadly. "I'm afraid I've done too much...hurt you too much...to ever expect forgiveness." He sighed. "You deserve an explanation, if nothing else."  
  
"I don't need an explanation," she told him. "It's all in the past. I have Danny and Grace and Sam....that's my future. The past doesn't matter anymore."  
  
"The past always matters, Kate," her father said. "In the end it always matters - until you deal with it. And I don't want you to learn that too late in life. I don't want you to have any...regrets...or misgivings....or fears."  
  
He waited for her to say something, but she continued to stare off into the distance. "I want you to know that everything I did, I did because I loved you."   
  
This gained her attention. With her mouth opened in shock, Kate turned to face her father. "Because you loved me?" she asked, her voice cracking with disbelief. "You practically blackmailed me into marrying a man I didn't love - who turned out to be a monster, - but at least he was a rich one with connections," she commented snidely. "And when you found out how bad he was you did nothing to help."  
  
He had the grace to looked ashamed as he faced her diatribe. "I admit that my motives in you marrying Micheal were not altruistic. I was in a bad spot and needed some capital. It was Micheal's father who approached me first. I honestly thought that Micheal would be a good match for you." Kate snorted in response, her eyes rolling in disbelief. "You were so intelligent and headstrong," he told her. "Most of the young men in your mother's social circle weren't man enough to deal with you. You needed someone who was as strong-willed and intelligent as you were so that you wouldn't ride roughshod over him. I thought that Micheal fit the bill. He seemed....perfect."  
  
Kate laughed humorlessly. "Oh, he was perfect all right. A perfect monster."  
  
"I didn't know about his drinking or his...other interests..." he said delicately, "until after the wedding - you were already in China. When I confronted his father about it, Robert said that it was just a ....a... phase or something. He said that in China he'd be away from temptation and that with a strong girl like you at his side....."  
  
Kate shook her head. "You have no idea what you are talking about," she told him scornfully. "You talk about Micheal and his 'interests' as if they were some minor character flaw. 'A change of scene and company will do you good, darling,'" she trilled falsely, imitating her mother. "You have no idea what it was really like." She looked away from him, feeling tears beginning to form.  
  
"Tell me," he said quietly.   
  
"No," Kate said. "You don't really want to know."  
  
"Yes, I do. I let myself believe Robert's words, because I wanted to," he admitted. "I need to know Kate. I need to know how badly I betrayed you."  
  
"No you don't," Kate countered. Her heart pounding in her chest. Rubbing her palms against her skirt, she tried to wipe the sudden perspiration off of them. Looking over briefly at her father she saw his expression - one she recognized from childhood. He was going to sit there and wait until she told him what he wanted to know. "Fine," she finally snapped. "I'll tell you." She knew her words were going to hurt her father and she almost relished the idea. He had put her in that situation, let him see what his selfishness gained her. "Where should I start? How about his drinking?" she began conversationally. "Always a charming social drinker, he was also a closet alcoholic. No one bothered to tell me. He drank more and more heavily the longer we were in China - and the more he drank, the more violent and...mocking he would become." She paused for breath, her heart pounding even faster. "Or should I tell you about the boy I found him in bed with two weeks after our arrival at the embassy - or the other men and boys that were paraded in front of me? That was the first time he hit me, by the way." She heard her father's sharp intake of breath and looked over at him, seeing his face pale in the moonlight. "Didn't know that did you?"  
  
"No," he said quietly. "I didn't know he became violent...his father said he was a...a quiet drunk. I thought..."  
  
Kate laughed harshly. "Oh, so if he was a quiet drunk that was okay, is that it?" She cut off any protest he might make. "Micheal was no more a quiet drunk than you are a penniless beggar. He just hid his problems well. That was the first black eye I ever recieved from him two - weeks after arriving in China. Not even married for two months. I guess you could say the honeymoon ended quickly," she laughed, though there was no humor in her voice. "The last time he hit me was just before he tried to strangle me. Danny pulled a knife on him then. But black eyes weren't the norm around our apartment," Kate said as if discusing the weather. "He rarely hit me in the face - it showed too easily; couldn't be covered up. But everyone knew...the looks of pity they used to give me. I sometimes thought I'd be better off dead." Her father let out a strangled gasp and Kate smiled.   
  
"Did I mention the miscarriages?" she asked, changing the topic slightly. "I'm sure Micheal did. 'Poor Kate just produces dead babies...nothing to carry on the fine, upstanding Helmsford name.'" She snorted. "I lost three babies because of Micheal. The only reason Grace survived was because Micheal was out of the embassy for months on some kind of assignment. And when he came home he brought a servant boy - a boy he 'rescued' off some street somewhere," Kate's voice thickened, but she continued on, wanting her father to know the full horror of her life. "I knew why the boy was there, and I knew that the boy was unhappy, but.....he kept Micheal's attention away from me...."she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. "Shortly after Grace was born...he...hung himself," she paused, taking a deep breath to steady herself. "I knew what was going on, I could have stopped it. But I was so busy trying to survive day to day that....I did nothing. That is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life."  
  
Her father reached out a trembling hand, almost touching her before pulling back. "You did what you had to do. You had Grace to think about," he tried to console her.  
  
Kate nodded. "Yes, I had Grace. She was the only thing good that ever came out of that marriage. Her, and the fact that I was there when Danny crashed," she corrected herself. "Micheal didn't care a thing for her - his own daughter. It was like she didn't exist to him. She was a girl...not the son he wanted....needed...in order to gain access to my trust. Nothing mattered to him except money and booze and where he could find another lover." Tears streaming down her face now, Kate finally stopped. There wasn't any point in saying more.  
  
They stood there for awhile before her father worked up the nerve to speak. "I had no idea it was...that bad," he began. "I began to realize how...depraved...he was after he came back from China. He told us you were dead. I believed him. I'm sorry for that," he sighed. "I'm sorry for everything. If I could go back in time I would change everything."  
  
"Those are just words," Kate said softly, her emotions spent. "Words to make you feel better. They don't mean anything to me."  
  
"If I could go back," he repeated, "I would change everything.....even if it cost me my business. Your life for my financial advancement was an unacceptable trade. I realize that now, though you're right, it does nothing for you."  
  
"Yes, nothing," Kate agreed. In a way it had felt good to tell her father all that she had, to see the dawning horror on his face. But she felt no victory now. She felt no retribution in the fact that her father's shoulders were slumping even further, that his head was bowed with - what? Shame, remorse? Did it really matter?  
  
"I'm dying Kate," her father said softly. Gasping she turned to him, her face losing all it's color. He smiled sadly. "Cancer," he explained. "I'm not telling you this to gain your sympathy. I'm telling you because....because it took death for me to realize what is important. I've looked over my life and not liked much that I have done - in the name of business and money. Greed. I ignored you and I used you, but I have always loved you. I need you to know that. And I am very, very proud of you." Kate's eyes began to fill with tears again. She had been longing to hear those words for so long, but she didn't know whether she could believe them or not. "You have fought back against every obstacle in your life and never lost your spirit. You've married a fine man, a strong partner, who will love you always. And you have two beautiful children, who I hope will inherit your spirit. You have accomplished and overcome a lot in your short life, and I am very proud of you." Reaching out slowly, he touched her cheek. "I love you," he said softly. "I love you very much. I wanted you to know that...before it was too late." With one last smile, a mere turning up of his lips, he turned and began walking back to the house.  
  
Kate stood there for a moment stunned. Her father loved her. He was proud of her. She wanted to believe him so badly. He had used her and willfully ignored what was going on in her life for his own gains. Ignored her as a child. Treated her as a pawn. How could he love her? Kate wanted to hate him, she wanted to yell and scream and blame him for how horrible everything had been and how used and unloved she had felt, but she couldn't. It wasn't in her to hate. And she knew that if she hadn't have married Micheal, she never would have found Danny.  
  
Turning she watched her father's hunched figure as he walked slowly away. She could feel something welling up inside of her, an energy that had to be released.  
  
"Daddy," she called to him before he disappeared from her view. He stopped and turned. "I can't...forgive you - yet," she told him. "But...I do love you."  
  
He was silent for a moment. "Thank you," he finally said, his voice hoarse with emotion. Nodding jerkily to her, he continued down the path. Kate watched him disappear, a feeling of lightness filling her. She didn't feel sad, and she didn't feel angry. Surprisingly, after all the emotions that had spun through her body recently, she felt very calm. Peacefull even.   
  
She sat down on a fallen log near the path to wait.   
  
Danny would be coming soon.   
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
Danny heard the porch door open with a loud screech and stood up quickly, a look of relief crossing his face. An identical look was on Rafe's face as he too stood, Danny saw. 'Thank god,' was the look that passed between the two friends. The last twenty minutes had been extemely painful. Between Julianna's flirting and inappropriate remarks - 'Would it be possible to see your scars, Danny? I've never seen a bullet wound before!' eye lashes fluttering wildly, - and Mrs. Williams' probbing questions and disdainful sniffs, Danny had never felt so low. Rafe and Evelyn hadn't been much help. Evelyn had tried, but Mrs. Williams had rudely ignored her. How was it that Kate was related to these women, Danny wondered?  
  
He was stopped short on his way to the kitchen by the appearance of Mr. Williams. Looking behind him Danny searched for Kate before turning questioning eyes back to her father. Seeing the man's red rimmed eyes and slumped shoulders Danny began to worry.  
  
"Where's Kate?" he asked. "Is everything alright?"  
  
Mr. Williams smiled faintly at Danny's concern. "Everything is fine. Kate is fine," he told him. "I believe she is waiting for you at the pond." He waved his hand in the direction he and Kate had walked earlier.  
  
Glancing around the room, Danny tried to calculate how quickly he could get to Kate. She might be 'fine,' but that didn't mean he wanted to leave her alone any longer than was necessary. The thing was, he couldn't just leave Rafe and Evelyn to deal with in-laws. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair...what to do? Mr. Williams solved his problem quite nicely moments later.   
  
"I would like to thank you for your hospitality," he began, moving to shake Rafe and Evelyn's hands. "I'm sure we've more than overstayed our welcome," his eyes slid over to his wife and daughter, "but thank you none the less. I know that you took Kate in when Danny was...away...and I'd like a chance to thank you for that too," he said to Rafe.  
  
Rafe looked uncomfortable. "Well, uh, you're welcome I guess. It was nice meeting you." Mr. Williams smiled knowingly, catching Rafe in his lie.   
  
"Kate's a welcome addition to the family," Evelyn said, drawing attention away from her husband. "She's a wonderful woman and friend."  
  
"Thank you, my dear," Mr. Williams said, nodding politely. "It's good to know that she has such fine friends as you. I think that was something that was missing in her life." He turned to his wife and daughter. "Jane, Julianna, I believe it's time to go."  
  
"Of course," Mrs. Williams said. Standing she walked to her husband. "It was a pleasure to meet you both. You have a...lovely...farm," she said, though the look of displeasure did much to override her kind sounding words. She limply shook each of their hands, going so far as to actually wipe her hand on her skirt afterwards. Turning to Danny, she nodded haughtily. "Mr. Walker."  
  
"Ma'am," he replied watching as she walked out of the room, a bemused look on his face.  
  
Julianna ignored everyone, walking straight over to Danny. Taking his offered hand in both of hers, she held it, looking up at him with a beguiling smile. "It was an honor to meet a hero such as yourself," she gushed. "I'm looking forward to seeing you again - soon I hope! You and Kate simply must come to my wedding."  
  
Danny looked uncomfortably over at Rafe who was trying not to smile at Julianna's antics. "Uh, well, I don't know...I'll be in school and I don't know if we'll have the time..."  
  
"Nonsense!" Julianna declared, pulling his hand closer to her chest. "You simply must come! Daddy can write a letter or something to your school. I'm sure they'll let you come for my wedding. We're family now, Danny. We should see lots of each other."  
  
"Uh, okay," Danny replied, trying to pull his hand away from her.  
  
"Julianna," her father warned, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Just a minute, daddy,"she said, not taking her eyes off Danny. "I'm saying good-bye to my new brother. I need to make up for mama's rudeness." She leaned forward confidentially. "She just doesn't like it that you are a better man than who she had picked out," Julianna said in a loud whisper. "Truth is, Kate would never have married Thomas...he's so...childish," her pert little nose wrinkled. "He's done nothing in his life...not like you," her smiled widened. "You know, this whole shaking hands thing is just ridiculous," she declared brightly, finally releasing his hand, much to Danny's relief. "We're family!" Without warning she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him briefly on the lips. Danny's eyes bulged in surprise. In a panic he looked over at Rafe and Evelyn who were covering their smiles with their hands. Danny glared at them, but Rafe only winked.  
  
"Julianna!" her father barked, grabbing her arm and wrenching her away from the surprised Danny. "Your mother is waiting for you in the car."  
  
"Yes, Daddy," she replied, her eyes still on Danny. "You are very tall," she told him. "I mean, I'm several inches taller than Kate and I still had to be on my very tippy toes."  
  
"Uh....." Danny had no idea how to respond to something as outrageous as that.  
  
"That's enough Julianna. Go!" her father pointed to the door.  
  
"Yes, daddy," she glared at him. "Bye Danny," she smiled, fluttering her fingers. "I hope to see you soon. Maybe Christmas?"  
  
Not willing to list all the reasons why they would not be coming to New York for Christmas, Danny just said, "Maybe," and left it at that.  
  
Julianna smiled brillantly, as if he had just agreed. "Wonderful! Bye-bye!"  
  
"Bye," Danny said softly as the door closed behind her, letting out a sigh of relief. Hearing Rafe laughing quietly, he tried to glare at his friend, but the effect was lost when he started grinning too.  
  
Running a hand through his hair, Danny turned to Mr. Williams. "Are you sure she's related to Kate?" he asked.  
  
Mr. Williams chuckled, shaking his head. "Sometimes I don't know if she's even related to me," he confided. "Jane and Julianna....they live in a very enclosed world, I'm afraid. They have been very....spoiled," he said sadly. "That does not condone their behavior, but...they are what they are. There is no changing them now."  
  
"It's alright," Danny told him. Awkwardly they looked at each other for a moment. "I'm glad you were able to make it."  
  
Kate's father smiled slightly. "Thank you for inviting me. I thought it best that we were not here for the ceremony. Lord knows what Jane might have said and I knew that Kate probably wouldn't be happy with us here," he shrugged. "I wanted to be here...to see her marrying the man that she had chosen. But....I didn't want to ruin the day for her either. I compromised. Maybe it's selfish of me, but I just had to tell her a few things...before it was too late."  
  
Danny nodded solemnly. "I'm sure Kate's glad that you came." Seeing his father-in-law's bemused look, Danny sheepishly corrected himself. "She will be glad...someday. Because I do know that whatever she may think or say now, she does love you, and I think a part of her would have wanted you at the wedding."  
  
"Thank you," Mr. Williams said quietly, his eyes suspiciously misty. "I'd like to believe that. I haven't been a good father," he told Danny. "I don't know what she has told you - and I don't want to know. I'd like to maintain some aura of dignity," he smiled feebly, "but I love her and I want the best for her. And now that I've met you - and Rafe and Evelyn," he included them with a kind nod, "I know that Kate has found the family she deserves." He held out his hand to Danny. "Take good care of her - and your children."  
  
"I will, Sir," Danny nodded solemnly watching Mr. Williams walk away.  
  
Stopping at the door, Kate's father turned to face them again. "You're a good man, Daniel Walker," he said. "I'm sorry for everything that I did in the past that hurt you or Kate. I was wrong." He paused looking Danny over quickly. "You're a good man," he repeated. "I'm glad that you found each other." Not waiting for a reply he turned and left.   
  
Soon the sound of a car starting filled the quiet room. Both Danny and Rafe let out loud sighs of relief. Evelyn laughed at them. "Well, that was...."  
  
"Insane?" Rafe offered  
  
"Painful?" Danny joked.  
  
"I was going to say 'interesting,' but painful works," she laughed again. "Are you sure Kate is related to them? Maybe she's a..changling, or adopted or something."  
  
"It's no wonder she doesn't talk about her family much," Rafe said. "Her father's not all that bad, but her mother and sister are....." he shook his head in wonder. "I don't know what they are."  
  
Danny laughed. "I think it will be safe to say that we will not be going to New York for Christmas...or the wedding. Kate said much about her family," h shook his head ruefully. "Now I understand why."  
  
"Speaking of Kate..." Evelyn began. "Are you going to go get her, or give her some time to think?"  
  
"Oh, I'm going to go get her," Danny replied, a small grin flitting across his face. "Ev, could I borrow a couple blankets? Old ones you don't mind getting dirty?"  
  
"Sure." A bewildered look crossed her face, but she didn't say anything as she moved down the hall to retrieve them.  
  
Rafe just looked knowingly at his friend, Danny blushed slightly. "What?!" he asked.  
  
"Nothing, nothing," Rafe responded a sly grin on his face. "She is your wife after all...."  
  
Danny smiled. "Yeah.."  
  
"Here you go," Evelyn said, coming back into the room and handing the blankets to Danny.  
  
"Thanks," he said, tucking them under his arm. "I'll see you guys in the morning." He nodded to Rafe and turned to leave. Stopping at the kitchen he turned around again. "If Sam needs us in the night...." he began.  
  
"I know where to find you," Rafe interjected. "Now get going. Kate's waiting for her wedding night!" Danny blushed.  
  
"Rafe!" Evelyn whispered, elbowing her husband in the ribs. He only laughed, putting his arm around her.  
  
"'Night," Danny called over his shoulder, closing the kitchen door quietly behind him.  
  
Evelyn turned to Rafe. "So where's he going?" she asked.   
  
Rafe smiled. "You know that hollow on the other side of the pond?" Evelyn nodded. "Well, there's a nice spot there, surrounded by small trees, but open to the stars. The grass is soft. It's the perfect place for a little rendezvous," he winked down at her.  
  
"Oh really," Evelyn asked, "and how would you know that, Rafe McCawley?"  
  
His grin only widened. "Well, I wasn't a choir boy growing up," he told her.  
  
Evelyn laughed. "I never thought you were."  
  
  
  
Danny walked quickly down the path towards Kate. He hoped that she was okay. He had a feeling that if she had been really upset he would have known it. He would have felt it. Talking with Mr. Williams, Danny got the feeling that their conversation had been intense, but needed. He slowed down when he rounded the last bend, seeing Kate's shadowed form sitting on an old fallen log, like he guessed she would be.  
  
"Took you long enough, flyboy," she said quietly as he moved to sit by her. Putting the blankets down he pulled he into his arms, sitting her on his lap. Instinctively she wrapped her arms around his waist, burrying her head under his neck. She sighed softly. This is what she had been waiting for.  
  
"Well, I couldn't just leave Rafe and Evelyn to deal with your family," he told her.  
  
"No," she agreed. "That would be above and beyond the call of friendship." She sat there for a moment. "My mother didn't....offend them too badly, did she?" Kate asked softly.  
  
"No, I don't think they're offended," Danny told her. "Amused, but not offended." Kate laughed lightly as he hoped she would. "Actually, Evelyn was wondering if you were adopted or something - we just have trouble believing that you are related to two women like that."  
  
"Yeah, well, I had nannies," Kate told him sadly. "Once mama realized how socially inept I was, Julianna became her pet project and I was left alone to do whatever I wanted...mostly."  
  
Danny held her tight, knowing that, though her words were flippant, the abondonment by her mother was still painful. Kate quickly recovered. "Did Julianna manage to keep her hands off you?" she asked, a grin in her voice this time.  
  
"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.  
  
"Don't give me that, Walker," she laughed, looking up at him. "I saw the way she was looking at you. She would gladly have you for breakfast, lunch and dinner!"  
  
"Brat," he said with a smile, shoving her head back under his chin.  
  
"So, what'd she do?" Kate prodded.  
  
Danny sighed. "She flirted the whole time, asked to see my scars, called me a hero...simpered, batted her eyelashes. Do you know she has the most grating laugh I've ever heard?" he asked.   
  
Kate laughed delightedly. "Oh, I know. Believe me, I know. So what else did she do?"  
  
"You don't give up, do you?" Kate shook her head. "Fine. I tried to shake her hand goodbye, but then she wouldn't let go of it. And then she managed to go from a handshake to a hug and kiss before I knew what was going on." Kate snorted. He gave her a squeeze. "It's not funny!" He declared. "A person should be warned before meeting her!"  
  
"I would have warned you," Kate told him, "had I known she was coming."  
  
Danny sighed, kissing her head softly. "I'm sorry. I know it wasn't fair to invite your father, but it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I had no idea he would bring your mother and sister along. Had I known that...." he trailed off.  
  
"It's okay, Danny," Kate finally said. "I forgive you." She sighed. "You were right. I needed to talk to him."  
  
"How'd it go?" he asked when she remained silent.  
  
"Fine," Kate began. "I told him everything - or most everthing - about Micheal. I blamed it all on him. I don't know if I really do," she said thoughtfully, "but it felt good to say it anyways. It really shocked him, I think. He had no idea how bad Michael really was." She shrugged. "Not that it matters."  
  
Danny waited while she collected her thoughts. He was glad that that she was finally able to vent all her anger and hurt. She had told him a lot of it, but sometimes blame needs to be placed, sometimes you just have to strike back. Since Micheal was dead, her father was the next logical choice. Danny couldn't feel sorry for the man, either.   
  
"He's dying," Kate whispered. "He said that he realized that he made a lot of mistakes and that he knows that he hurt me...and he wanted me to know that he only did what he thought was best," she snorted. "He also said that he....loves me....and that he is proud of me - for surviving, I guess."   
  
Danny felt her silent tears through his shirt. "I believe him."  
  
"So do I," Kate admitted.  
  
Tipping her chin up with a finger, he smiled softly at her. "I'm glad." Leaning down he kissed her tenderly.  
  
Pulling away from him, Kate looked at the blankets at his feet, then back up at him. "So, what are the blankets for?"  
  
Lifting her off his lap, Danny stood up beside her. With the blankets under one arm and her hand tucked over his other, Danny smiled at her. "Come with me, my dear."  
  
Kate laughed at his playfulness, more than willing to follow him anywhere. In a few short minutes he had led her around the swimming pond and to a small copse of trees. Once inside the trees, Kate saw that it was actually a small clearing, maybe ten feet by ten feet, the grass soft beneath her feet. Danny spread one of the blankets out in the middle of the clearing, then pulled her into his arms. "Look up," he whispered. Kate let out sharp gasp when she did. The sky was open above them, the stars winking down. It was as if the stars were there for only them to enjoy. "It's so pretty."  
  
"Yeah," Danny agreed, his eyes focused on her. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand, just a gossamer touch. "Very pretty." His voice had deepened into what Kate secretly called his sexy voice. Like honey poured over sandpaper. It always caused goosebumps to break out all over her, her skin becoming instantly sensitive to his touch. She smiled up at him, stretching her hands up his chest slowly, feeling the increase in tempo of his heart beat under her fingertips.  
  
"So what are we doing here?" she whispered.  
  
Danny grinned. "Well, I thought I'd give you a chance to make good on your previous suggestion," he told her. His hands softly kneading her lower back.  
  
Kate raised her eyebrow in question. "Oh, and what was that?"  
  
Danny leaned down, his lips just a breath away, his eyes never leaving hers for a moment. Expectantly, Kate licked her lips. "To seduce me under the stars," he whispered just before capturing her lips with his. With a groan, Kate pressed her body against his, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck as he straightened, pulling her more fully against him. 'It's about time,' she thought.  
  
  



	7. NC-17

Chapter 7  
  
Kate loved the way she felt in Danny's arms. He was so much larger than her small frame, she felt engulfed in his embrace. As if she were slowly melting into him. She could feel the rise and fall of his breath, the steady pounding of his heart against her chest matching her own. With a small whimper, Kate rubbed her tongue softly against his lips, wanting to taste him further. Danny readily complied, the kiss deepening. Lost in the feelings that were thrumming through her body, Kate belatedly realized that Danny's hands were busy pulling her blouse out of her skirt. Grabbing his hands she pulled away from his kiss, chuckling softly.  
  
"I thought I was the one to seduce you tonight," she told him.  
  
Danny groaned, bending to kiss the long column of her neck, little nipping kisses that sent shivers down her spine. "Semantics," he whispered in between kisses. "I seduce you....you seduce me....in the end we're both happy. And very, very satisfied." Kate moaned, dropping her head back as he langerously licked the place where her neck met her shoulder, nipping at the pulse point. He did make a good arguement.....  
  
"No," she finally whisperd, pulling out of his arms. "It's my turn."   
  
Danny stared at her, his eyes hot, taking in her slightly disheveled state. Her eyes were molten pools of green, lips swollen from their kiss, cheeks flushed with passion. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Giving her a lopsided smile, Danny held his arms out to his side. "I am yours," he said simply, his voice deep and husky with his own passion.  
  
Kate smiled, moving towards him again. "Yes you are." Slowly she began to unbutton his shirt, one button at a time, her eyes never leaving his. Seeing him looking at her with such desire, Kate wondered if she would be able to control herself and not just pounce on him as she wanted to. Once the the shirt was unbuttoned, she gently slid it off his tall frame, her hands sliding slowly over his chest, shoulders and down his arms. She smiled at the reflexive tensing of his muscles at her touch. Throwing the shirt off to the side, she stared up at him, standing before her in a sleeveless undershirt, her heart pounding in her ears.  
  
"You know," she said softly, her hands beginning to trace lightly over his chest, "It's times like this that I really miss your dogtags," she told him.  
  
"Really?" he asked, his voice low, not wanting to ruin the spell she was casting over him.  
  
"Yes," she admitted. "All those long months in China....living with you....sleeping next you....sitting across from you at meals...watching you with Grace....in my memories you are always dressed like this," her hands ran up his chest and then back down his stomach, enjoying the feel of his warm skin beneath the cotton undershirt, "your dogtags dangling here," she placed her hand over his heart, then snaked it up until it rested behind his neck. "And I always wanted to grab them and pull you down," the pressure of her hand bringing him down to face level, "and kiss you like this." Her lips pressed against his, her tongue boldly sweeping through his mouth, taking possession of him. Marking him as hers. But before he could fully react she placed her hands on his chest and pushed him away. "You were so damn sexy," she told him.  
  
"Kate..." he moaned, trying to pull her to him again.  
  
"No, mine," she said, keeping her hand against his chest.  
  
Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, Danny nodded, trying to gain control of himself again. Being seduced was hard work, he realized. He didn't know if he was going to survive.  
  
Smiling at his acquisience, Kate began untucking his undershirt, slowly raising it over his stomach, her hands touching as much of his warm skin as possible, grazing over his chest, teasing his nipples. She smiled at his quick intake of breath. With his impatient help, the cotton shirt was soon discarded. Running a finger over his chest, down his collar bone, around his nipple, over his ribs, past scars, down to to where his pants rest on his hips, Kate stared at his magnificant body.  
  
"You've changed so much....since the first time I saw you," she whipsered, both hands now trailing over him.  
  
Danny laughed lightly, his stomach clenching at her light touches. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. "Well, I'm not bleeding...." he said hoarsely  
  
"That's not what I mean," she told him, her eyes hooded with desire. "You were pretty scrawny in China, though. We all were, but since.....you've filled out here," her hands ran over his broad shoulders, molding the muscles of his upper arms, "and here," she skimmed over his chest and ribs, marveling at the play of muscles over his body, how they jumped and tensed at the slightest touch from her.  
  
Danny stiffled a moan. She was trying to drive him crazy. "Lots of work on the ship, and...uh...here, with Rafe."  
  
"Yes, here on the farm," she grinned up at him, before moving around to his back, her hands moving up and down. "Are you sure you want to be a teacher?...I kind of like watching you do....manual labor...all sweaty from working in the fields, or greasy from working on the plane. I swear, there are times, when you come in for dinner...and I have to leave the room so as not to embarrass myself before Evelyn. You are so...sexy." she told him.  
  
Danny tried to laugh, but it came out as more of a grunt this time, his senses drugged by her gentle assault. "Sexy?"  
  
"Yes, sexy," she leaned, her arms wrapping around his middle, her face pressed against his back. "You are so sexy to me, I don't know how I lived with you for so long... without doing anything."  
  
"I don't know how, either," he agreed, his hands rubbing softly up and down her arms, enjoying the feel of her body pressed against his.   
  
"I dreamed about it," she said softly against his back, placing fluttering kisses on his shoulder blades. "I thought about you a lot."  
  
Groaning, Danny hung his head, his chest pounding frantically at her touch and her words. "I thought about you too," he whispered.  
  
"Did you?" Kate asked, softly kissing one of his scars, her hands rubbing his stomach and sides. "I think I had a head start over you, though." She nipped at his back, smiling as his breath hissed. "Those weeks that you were so sick....I got to know your body very well....I could see how beautiful you were, despite the wounds." She ducked in front of him again, her lips and tongue caressing his chest. "And after...in the camp...I watched you and I wondered...what would it be like...to touch you," her tongue flicked out, teasing his nipple, "what you would taste like." Danny groaned, he could barely understand her words, his body strung tight with desire. "It wasn't fair that I only had you for those two nights before I....had to leave." She stopped and looked up at him, gently kissing the scar nearest to his heart. Running her hands down his arms, lacing her fingers in his, she smiled up at him, her eyes almost glowing. "But now, you're mine and I'm yours.....this is the way that love is supposed to be," she whispered. "Forever."  
  
Danny looked down at her in awe, his heart reflected in his eyes.   
  
"Touch me," she said softly, placing his hands on her waist.  
  
That was all the permission Danny needed. With a groan her pulled her to him, his lips kissing her searingly, branding her as his. Kate opened herself to him with a small moan, her arms wrapped around his neck. Danny's hands threaded through her hair, expertly removing the clip that held it in place, letting it draped down her back. He continued to kiss her, only pulling away when he could breath no more. "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?" he whispered hoarsely, his hands roaming over her back, through her hair, trying to touch as much as of her as possible. She only laughed, kissing and licking his neck.  
  
Straightening, Danny began unbuttoning her blouse, his hands shaking slightly. In moments it was gone, added to the growing pile of disarded clothes. Soon her bra followed, and her breasts where finally released, much to his delight. Gently he cupped them, his thumbs running lightly over her nipples, causing her to gasp and arch against him. They were fuller now, filled with milk for Sam, but still soft as he kneaded them in his hands. Leaning down, his tongue circled slowly around her nipple, before closing in on it and tugging it with his lips. Kate groaned softly, her hands tangling in his hair, holding him to her breast. He increased his pressure, briefly tasting her milkiness.   
  
Kate tugged at his hair. "I don't think you should...uh...do...that," she practically moaned. "Or we could have a problem."  
  
Danny smiled and transfered his attention to her other nipple.  
  
"Oh, Danny," Kate gasped.   
  
Looking up at her, Danny saw the drugged look in her eyes. Cupping her face he kissed her again; gently, teasingly....exploring her mouth with his tongue. Her small whimpers of pleasure sending sparks flying through his body. Kate let out a low moan as their bodies, devoid of their restrictive shirts, finally met, flesh to flesh.   
  
Kate pulled away from him finally, breathless. She stared up into his eyes, her body humming with his touch, wanting to feel him inside of her, a part of her. "I love the way that you love me," she whispered, her hand caressing his jaw. Reaching for his belt, she began to undo it.  
  
Danny chuckled, "Whose the impatient one, now?" he asked her.  
  
Kate laughed. "Are you going to help me or not?" Danny didn't respond, but his hands covered hers, quickly undoing the buttons and sliding his pants off. Kate looked him over appreciatively, seeing his obvious desire. "God, you are beautiful."  
  
Danny shook his head at her comment, instead reaching for the buttons skirt, leaning to kiss her deeply as it dropped off her body. Kicking it onto their pile of clothes, Kate ran her hands over Danny's lower back, caressing his bare bottom. The man was all muscle. Danny had the same idea, his hands trailing slowly over her back, over her garter belt and then.....skin.  
  
He pulled back, looking down at her, his eyes wide with shock, then he grinned. "You seem to be missing something," he laughed.  
  
Kate smiled, slightly embarassed. "Well, it was hot today and...."  
  
"You forgot to put on your skivvies?" Danny suggested, pulling her back into his arms, nuzzling her neck.   
  
"Something like that," she answered.  
  
Danny looked up at her seriously. "Please tell me you don't always walk around like this," he said.  
  
Kate frowned. "Why?"  
  
Waiting a beat before answering Danny finally smiled. "Because it would totally destroy my sanity if on hot days I had to wonder whether my wife was walking around without any underwear on!"  
  
"Oh!" Kate laughed. Bending slightly in his arms she began to unhook her garters.  
  
Danny stilled her hands. "No, mine." Before she could protest, Danny swept her up into his arms and gently placed her on the blanket. Above her Kate could only see Danny and the stars shining brightly behind him. Heaven.  
  
  
Danny could only stare down at Kate as she layed beneath him, her hair spread out like a fan about her head. She was his, he realized. All these months...going to New York, proving that he really was alive, trying to get to this point....the years in China living with her day in and day out pretending....growing up, wondering if he would ever find someone just for him, his very own soulmate....and now she was finally his. Kathryn Marie Walker. Mrs. Danny Walker. She was his. Forever.  
  
Resting on his elbow, one leg covering hers, Danny reached out and softly stroked her cheek. "Do you know how long...I have waited for this day?" he asked softly, his eyes never leaving her face.  
  
Kate smiled gently, looking up at him. "Forever," she whispered.  
  
Danny ran his hand over her body, touching her, feeling her softness. "And a day," he agreed. Leaning down he kissed her gently, keeping his passion reigned in. It was a kiss of love and committment. Of surrender. Pulling back he looked into her eyes, there was no need for words. This was the beginning...of everything.  
  
Slowly his hand traced down her body until he reached the clips of her garter. Grinning, he expertly unclipped her stocking. "Now, it's my turn," he told Kate moving to sit up. Rolling the stocking, Danny kissed his way down her leg, his hands carressing the smooth top, the sensitive flesh of her inner thigh. Slowly his tongue circled her knee, causing Kate to groan, her hands grasping the blanket beneath her. He continued down her calf, his mouth and hands not missing an inch of skin, until finally the stocking was off. Place a kiss on the top of her foot, Danny grinned up at Kate, seeing her flushed face, her eyes closed.  
  
"Now the other," he whispered, causing Kate to groan louder.  
  
"I don't think I can stand much more," she moaned. "Please..."  
  
Danny chuckled, poised over her lower body. "Turnabout is fair play, my darling." He kissed the top of thigh, his fingers gently caressing the heat that pulsed between her legs.  
  
"Danny!" she hissed, her back arching, hands gripping the blanket tightly.  
  
He could feel her warmth, how wet she was. She was more than ready, he knew...so was he...but not yet. Not yet.  
  
Slowly he eased his fingers away, continuing with his assigned task of removing her remaining stocking. He moved slowly, torturously. Kate was breathless, unable to keep still by time he was done. Danny wasn't much better...his body aching to join hers, but he didn't give in. He began to kiss his way back up her body. Stopping to caress her center with his tongue, Kate's legs opening for him instinctively.  
  
Kate couldn't speak, she could barely form a coherent thought. She could only feel; Danny's hands, his tongue...on her body...in her body...she could feel her body tensing....climbing...searching....  
  
"Danny," she groaned, her back arching, forcing her hips against him. "Please...I want....I want...you." She looked down at him, her eyes heavy with desire. "Please," she whispered.  
  
In seconds he was poised above her, her legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him towards her. Raising up, Kate captured his lips in a passionate kiss, her tongue thrusting into his mouth. Placing her hands on his lower back she raised her hips while pushing against him, urging him to finally consummate their evening...their being. With a groan, Danny slide into her warmth, his head dropping to rest against her shoulder as he fought to control himself.  
  
"This feels so good," she moaned, shifting her hips until he was fully embedded inside her. "So good...."  
  
Danny let out a little huff of air, his heart beating wildly in his chest. "It should," he told her, his voice rasping against her ear. "You haven't let me make love to you for the past 3 weeks."  
  
"Three weeks, two days," she whispered. "It sounded like a good idea at the time..." She tried to move her hips against him again, but his weight held her pinned.  
  
Danny groaned. "Don't do that yet," he warned her, biting her neck gently.  
  
"Oh god, Danny," Kate whispered, her hands trailing all over his back. "Don't stop now. Please....." She moaned as he slowly withdrew and then entered her again. "Yes..." she hissed, her hips meeting his in an answering thrust.  
  
Slowly, gently, the began to make love, their lips locked together as their bodies instinctively moved towards each other in counterpoint...Kate's body raising to his, as Danny's thrust down towards her...a natural rhythm that their bodies had followed before. This was no virginal wedding night, not a night for discovery and exploration. This night was a culmination of everything they had been through...dreamed of...hoped for...This night was a promise of forever.  
  
Once again Kate could feel her body tightening, Danny's control, his slow and steady thrusts driving her to the very edge of sanity. Her head rolling side to side, she arched up against him, her hands grasping his back, feeling the muscles contracting and relaxing. Her heart felt like it was about to burst. She could hear Danny's labored breathing above her, realizing that she was not the only one having trouble breathing. She could feel the sweat on his skin as he strained to hold back, tasted the saltiness of his neck. "Danny," she groaned, pulling his lips to hers, tasting him. "I...want to...." she groaned involuntarily against his mouth as his body slammed into her more fully, evidence that his control was slipping. "I want to... make love...to...you.." she moaned.   
  
Danny stilled for a moment, but then, with quick efficiency, rolled them over, Kate now astride him. "Your wish is my command," he whispered hoarsely.  
  
Kate moaned loudly as she sank down onto him. Leaning forward, her hair falling like a curtain around them, she kissed him, their tongues caressing briefly, before she sat back, following the demands of her body as she began to move on top of him, grinding slowly.   
  
Danny remained as still as possible, allowing her to control their pleasure. He reached up and began to caress her breasts, feeling their heaviness as the swayed above him. Leaning up, he pulled one nipple into his mouth, suckling gently. His hand teasing the other. Kate groaned, her motions becoming faster, her breathe coming in short gasps. Leaning down again, she pressed her mouth against his, the frantic beating of her heart matching his. He reached for her hips, guiding their movements as she began to make little mewling noises in the back of her throat, her eyes closed, mouth open as she gasped for breathe above him. He knew she was close.  
  
He shifted again, lifting her up and then backwards so that he was once again poised over her. Kate opened her eyes in surprise, looking up at him. Eyes locked together, Danny increased his tempo, lifting her hips so that he could penetrate deeper, and in seconds her body was spasaming around his, finally having been pulled over the abyss...she was riding the waves of pleasure until her body trembled weakly.   
  
Above her, Danny watched her as her eyes closed with pleasure, her mouth dropping open as she forgot to breathe; her hands grasped him, pulling at him, forcing him on. She arched against him with one final moan, her eyes drifting open slowly, the look of langerous pleasure in them causing Danny's own body to tighten unexpectedly.  
  
She looked up at him with unadulterated love. "Danny," she whispered seductively. Knowing what she wanted, his body sped up, no longer in his control as it searched for it's own release in her body. He slammed into her, feeling her welcoming warmth, her legs wrapped high on his hips. Kate leaned up, her tongue flickering against his neck, followed by the light pressure of her teeth - that was all it took for Danny to explode into her, his body convulsing with pleasure so intense he thought he might black out. Closing his eyes, he rested his head against her shoulder once again, gasping, feeling her hands smoothing down his back, gentling him, his body pulsing out of his control. He could feel her humming softly as she too came down from an intense peak of pleasure.  
  
"Well, I'd say that was worth a three week wait," Kate finally whispered, once their breathing had calmed somewhat.  
  
Danny looked up at her, his eyes heavy with drugged sleep, his body totally relaxed. "Three weeks and two days," he reminded her, leaning in to kiss her softly. "And yes, it was worth the wait."  
  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
They slept the rest of the night, wrapped in each others arms, the cool night breeze blowing softly over their exposed skin. In the early morning, as the sky turned from deepest blue to gray to pink Danny made love to Kate again; savoring the quiet, knowing that in the coming months they would not have a chance to enjoy another morning like this...leisurely in each others arms.  
  
"Where do you see us 5 years from now," Danny asked as Kate lay snuggled against his side, her head resting on his chest, one leg nestled between his.  
  
"Hmmmm?" Kate asked, her fingers skimming over his chest, enjoying the feel of him.  
  
Danny captured her hand in his, holding it against him. "That tickles," he told her.  
  
She grinned against him. "Sorry. What was it you wanted to know?"  
  
"Where do you see us in five years," he repeated.  
  
Kate thought about it. "Five years is a long time," she said slowly. "Grace will be....almost 9, Sam will be five," she shook her head. "I can barely imagine that."   
  
"It seems hard to believe they'll be that old, that they won't be babies anymore," Danny agreed. "But where do you see us? What do you want?"  
  
Kate looked up at him, studying his expression intently.  
  
Danny smiled at her, gently pushing her head back down to rest on his chest. "It's not a trick question, I'm not worried about anything....I was just wondering how you envision our future. We waited so long to get to this point...finally married...and we've talked about me going to college. I wanted to know what you wanted. What you saw."  
  
"Hmmm, let me gaze into my crystal ball....." she laughed as Danny squeezed her playfully. "Seriously, though," she continued. "I see us happily married, with 3 or 4 more kids," Danny started in surprise and Kate laughed again. "You promised me half a dozen kids, Walker, don't you go taking it back now!"  
  
"I guess I did," Danny smiled, "but I thought we'd spread them out a bit," he teased her.  
  
"I want a close family," Kate told him seriously. "I want them to be friends...to play together, to watch out for each other. I never had that, but I've seen it in other families...Like the Wilson's in China. I want a family like that; close, loving."  
  
Danny kissed the top her head. "That sounds real nice. What else do you see in your crystal ball?"  
  
Kate laughed. "I see us living in your old house," she told him. "We can fix it up over the next few years while your studying, add a few rooms, modernize it a bit. That way we'll be close to Evelyn and Rafe...our extended family. You'll teach during the year and help Rafe out in the summer and I'll.....I'll take care of the kids and the house and work in the garden and learn how to make jam and perserves..and...I...I want a cow. A cow named Daisy."  
  
Danny laughed. "A cow?"  
  
"Yes, a cow...with black spots."  
  
"Named Daisy..."  
  
Kate grinned. "Yes. And maybe a pig and some chickens..."  
  
"Is that going to be enough for you?" Danny asked, "Staying home and watching the kids all the time. Taking care of the house and the...cow..." he grinned again.  
  
Kate nodded, smiling. "Yes it's enough. It's more than enough. I want to raise my kids, watch them grow, be a part of their lives. I was raised by nannies and servants and I hated it. I want my own home and I want to raise my own family."   
  
"If that makes you happy," Danny told her, hugging her tight. "It sounds wonderful to me. I don't really remember my mom, and my dad....didn't have much use for me. I want to be a father....like Rafe's dad. He always had time for us. He was great."  
  
"You are a wonderful father, Danny," Kate said, looking up at him.   
  
He grinned shyly at her. "Thanks." Leaning down he began to kiss her, but a small cry off in the distance broke through their peace.  
  
"Sam," they both said at the same time, laughing. Their peaceful idle was officially interrupted.   
  
Pressing a quick kiss to her lips Danny reached for his trousers. "Rafe's probably bringing him....I'll go head him off."  
  
Kate blushed, realizing for the first time that Rafe and Evelyn knew that they had spent their wedding night outdoors. Not that it should have mattered, but it still embarrassed her. Danny laughed, seeing her blush. Grinning she threw a her blouse at him. "Wretch!"  
  
Once his trousers where on, Danny left their small hideout, walking briskly to get his son. From the sounds of his crys he was not a happy little boy. He met up with Sam at the crest of the small hill between the swimming hole and copse, the farm house visible in the background. To his surprise it wasn't Rafe, but Evelyn who was carrying Sam. Danny's steps faltered momentarily at the sight of her, suddenly aware that he wasn't wearing a shirt. They stopped a few paces apart, Danny taking the crying baby.  
  
"Hi," he said, suddenly feeling shy. "Thanks for bringing Sam out. Kate's still...uh...back...at the clearing."  
  
"Oh, it was no problem," Evelyn answered, her eyes looking everywhere but at him, his partially undressed state making her uncomfortable. "Rafe was going to bring him out after he had a shower....to give you a little more...time...together, but Sam didn't want to wait..so I thought...." she shrugged, looking up at him for the first time.  
  
"He was alright last night?" Danny asked, shifting the now quiet Sam to his right arm.  
  
Evelyn let out a soft gasp, her eyes trained onto Danny's bare chest. "He...he was just...fine," she stuttered.   
  
Seeing her stare, Danny looked down at his chest, knowing that she was staring at his scars for the first time.  
  
"It's okay, Evelyn," Danny said softly.  
  
Abruptly Evelyn looked away, her cheeks flushing, eyes filling with tears. "I...I'm...sorry. I didn't mean to...stare...like that," she explained, her eyes looking off into the distance. "It's just....I knew...that you had been...shot. Rafe and Kate both told me. But to see," she looked at him, a lone tear rolling down her face. "You must have been in great pain, Danny," she whispered. "I can't imagine...."  
  
Danny moved towards her, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close, trying to offer her some comfort. "I don't really remember," he told her. "It's all hazy. I only really remember waking up and seeing Kate and Grace....the rest..." he shrugged, "it's only bits and pieces."  
  
Evelyn pulled away from him, her fingers reaching out to tentatively touch his scars. She glanced up at him and he nodded. Lightly she touched them, feeling the hard rigdes of the pink skin. Feeling the warmth of his body, still alive. "Your back too?" she asked softly. Danny nodded, turning around. Once again, he felt Evelyn's gossamer touch on his skin. She rested her head against his back, a small sob escaping. "Oh, Danny," she said softly. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"Hey," Danny said, turning to take her into his arms again, holding her close to him as he had done on many occasions in the past, her body fitting against his easily. "It's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done."  
  
She leaned back, looking up into his eyes. "I could have told you," she whispered.  
  
Danny stared at her for a moment, wondering if it really would have made a difference. If he had known that Evelyn was pregnant, would he have stayed behind? Would he have not volunteered to go to Tokyo? He didn't think so.  
  
Leaning down, he looked into Evelyn's eyes, wanting her to see the truth in his. "It wouldn't have made a difference, Ev," he told her, reaching to wipe away a tear. "I would have gone anyways...even if I had known about....Danny." He smiled sadly down at her. "I couldn't let Rafe leave me behind again...it was my duty to go....even if I had known. And I still wouldn't....have let them shoot Rafe." He looked up at the sky, patting the impatient Sam on the back as he began to fidget, getting tired of waiting for his breakfast. "I don't regret it," Danny finally said, looking down at Evelyn again. "I can't. If I hadn't've gone...Rafe might be dead now....and Kate....she might still be trapped in China or....worse," he shook his head. "If it means taking a few bullets to keep them alive....then I would gladly do it all over again."  
  
Evelyn looked at him hesitantly. "I guess..."  
  
Danny leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "There's nothing you could have done," he said again. "I'm just sorry that you had to go through.....everything..." he trailed off, not sure what exactly he wanted to say.  
  
Evelyn nodded. Standing on tiptoes, she kissed his lips lightly. "I wouldn't change a thing," she told him softly. Danny smiled. "Now you better take that boy to his mama. I bet he's awfully hungry." Turning she began walking back to the house. "I'll see you both at breakfast," she called over her shoulder.  
  
Shaking his head, Danny watched her walk away. He was lucky to have found two such wonderful, strong women in his life; one a very good friend, and the other his wife.  
  
  
Evelyn walked into the kitchen, but instead of starting breakfast she stood in front of the sink staring out the window with blind eyes. The tears that she had managed to control in front of Danny were streaming down her face. She couldn't stop them. Despite his words, she couldn't help feeling respondsible for the pain that he must of gone through, both physically and emotionally. She knew that he didn't regret anything, that he held nothing against her, but it hurt her to know all that he had suffered. He was her friend, a former lover...the father of her child, they would always share a bond. Knowing that he hurt, hurt her.  
  
"The kids are in the yard," Rafe said softly from behind her. "Are you okay?" he asked after a moment's pause.  
  
Wiping away her tears, Evelyn turned to face him. "I guess," she shrugged, trying to smile. All she wanted was for Rafe to take her into his arms and hold her tight. She wanted to feel his reassuring presence, the beating of his heart against her cheek. But he made no move towards her, his eyes unreadable as he watched her. Instead she moved towards him, her arms wrapping around his waist, but still he didn't move. "What's wrong, Rafe?" she asked.  
  
"You took Sam," he said, ignoring her question.  
  
Evelyn nodded, stepping away from him. "Yes, he was getting fussy."  
  
"I could have taken him."  
  
"Well, yes," she said hesitantly, stepping away to try to see what was bothering him. "But you were in the shower. It was just as easy for me to take him. Babies get impatient when they're hungry - especially at that age...you know that."  
  
"Do I?" Rafe asked, his eyes locking hers, almost accusingly.  
  
"What's wrong Rafe?" she asked again, a hard edge to her voice. She was getting tired of his strong silent routine.   
  
He nodded his chin towards the swimming hole. "I saw you...and Danny out there.....together," he told her. "I saw you...touch him...and hug him....and....kiss him."  
  
Evelyn stared at him, amazed at what she was hearing...not so much his words, but the way he said them. "You're jealous," she said in wonder. There was no doubt in her mind that Rafe was the man for her, that he could doubt that really shocked her.  
  
Rafe stiffened but said nothing, his eyes focused over her shoulder.  
  
Moving to try and catch his eye, Evelyn looked at him closely. "That's it, isnt' it?" she asked. "That's what the problem is. You're jealous. Admit it, Rafe," she prodded him.   
  
Finally he looked at her, his eyes filled with so many swirling, conflicting emotions that it stunned her. "Fine, I'll admit it," he snapped. "I'm jealous!"  
  
"Why?" she asked softly, hoping that he would finally open up to her.  
  
He ran a hand through his hair, a sure sign of his discomfort. "Why?!" he asked. "Why? How can you ask me why?" He turned to leave, but Evelyn put a hand on his arm, holding him back.  
  
"Because I don't understand Rafe," she told him. "I don't understand. Are you jealous of me and Danny? Do you think that something is ...going on between us?" she asked. "Or is it just Danny? Is he the one you have the problem with?"  
  
Rafe hung his head. "I know there's nothing going on between you and Danny," he said. "It's just that when I saw you two together...on the hill...I just.." he shrugged. "And then you're in here crying and I had to wonder why? Are you regretting marrying me? Is that it? Danny gave you a child and I can't.....Do you wish that...that...I had been the one to stay behind in China..?"  
  
"Oh, god, Rafe," Evelyn said, pulling him into her arms. "No, no," she whispered. "I love you. I have always loved you and I don't want anything to happen to you - ever," she told him, her voice thick with tears. "I love Danny, too, but...not like I love you."   
  
Rafe let out a breath, his arms finally wrapping around her. But still, her remained silent.  
  
Taking him by the hand she led him to the table. "We have to talk." He didn't look at her, but he didn't get up either. This was progress, of a sort.  
  
Once she had him sitting across from her, Evelyn wasn't sure of what to say. For years now she had wished for this to happen...for both of them to sit down and talk about Hawaii and what had happened. Until now, Rafe had never given her the slightest chance to speak her mind. She didn't want to blow it.  
  
Reaching across the table she took his hand in hers, tracing her thumb across his knuckles. "As for what you saw this morning," she began, "I had no ulterior motives. I was simply bringing Sam to his mother. I didn't know who I would meet, but I figured that they would hear his cries before we got to close to interrupt anything. Danny was just as surprised to see me. If he had known it was me and not you, I'm sure he would have been wearing a shirt," she told him. "He has lived here for months now, and he always wears a shirt - even in the heat out in the fields. I never thought about it until I saw him without one today. He's not shy. You work all the time without one on, and Danny has never had a problem before, but then I saw his scars...and I knew that he was hiding them. Have you seen them, Rafe?" she asked, her voice breaking slightly.  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, I've seen them," he said hoarsely, not really sure where Evelyn was going with this conversation. He didn't like thinking about Danny's scars. He'd only seen them once. Danny had thought that he was alone. The sight of the scars had almost made him physically sick, because he knew Danny had gotten them saving his life. Those bullets...those scars...had been meant for him, not Danny.  
  
"Well, then you know how horrible they are," she said, her voice under fine control, but Rafe could hear the tension in it. "Not horrible as in ugly, but....I saw so many wounds while I was a nurse....he must have been in terrible pain....and to be somewhere where there are no doctors or morphine....I simply can't imagine the pain," she said, once again tears coming to her eyes. "I hadn't realized.....I didn't let myself think about what he went through." She looked up at Rafe, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "Its a miracle that he survived. All the complications that could have happened, that did happen....the poor nutrition in the camp....it's a miracle that he's alive and with us today." She took a deep breath, wiping away a lone tear. "Seeing those scars for the first time....it made me feel so...guilty...for what happened. I feel respondsible for hurting him."  
  
Breaking his silence, Rafe put his hand over hers, offering her some comfort. "It wasn't your fault, Ev," Rafe said, reading her mind. "Even if you would have told him, he still would have gone. He still would have done what he did. That's just Danny."  
  
Evelyn smiled a teary smile. "That's exactly what Danny said."  
  
"Yeah, well...." Rafe cleared his throat. "We've talked about this...a little."  
  
"You have?" Evelyn asked speculatively. "I'm glad. You need to talk to someone Rafe." Rafe just shrugged, so Evelyn continued. "That's not the only reason I feel guilty though," she told her husband. Her voice thickening with more tears. "I hurt Danny. I know I did. Just as I know that I hurt you," she squeezed his hand. "I didn't mean to. It was never my intention to hurt anyone." A small sob escaped her control, her tears beginning to fall again. "I thought you were dead...I felt dead. We had so little time together, a few wonderful kisses, letters of love....I had given you my heart...and then you died," she shook her head, unable to explain the agony, the emptiness that she had felt.   
  
Rafe watched her, his heart swelling at her words; he could feel how much she loved him in the tight grip of her hand on his, he could see it in her tearful eyes. She really had loved him back then, she really had missed him..mourned him...after he had been shot down. He had never been totally sure of that until now, seeing the pain in her eyes as she spoke. A small part of him had always doubted her, no matter what had passed between them over the years.  
  
Unaware of Rafe's epiphany, Evelyn continued. "And then along came Danny. He was sweet, and concerned, and friendly and....he had lost you too. We went out for coffee one night and it was the first time I had laughed...since you died. We talked about you and we laughed.....and for the first time I didn't feel alone. Can you understand that, Rafe?"   
  
He did. For the first time he truly did understand how she and Danny might have been drawn to each other. Danny had been his friend for as long as he could remember. He, better than anyone else, knew how good a friend Danny Walker could be. He knew how compassionate and caring he was. How deep his feelings ran. Rafe had been totally devestated by Danny's death and he had turned to Evelyn to help him get through it. They didn't talk of it, but just the fact that she was there...had been enough for him. Was it so surprising that Evelyn and Danny had turned to each other? They were similar, giving people, who needed to share their grief, not keep it bottled up inside like he did.   
  
Rafe had seen what a close friendship they had now, an openness that he belatedly realized was missing between him and Evelyn. He had mourned his friend, but he had never let Evelyn do the same. He had sometimes heard her crying at night, but he had never acknowledge those tears...tears that he knew were for her dead lover...and now he realized, her close friend. What kind of husband was he, he wondered.  
  
Evelyn waited but Rafe didn't respond, he just sat there staring at their hands. "Neither of us....planned....for it to happen," she said softly. "...to sleep together and I felt so guilty the next day, because I knew that that night....I hadn't slept with Danny....I had made love to the ghost of you...the part of you that is in Danny."   
  
Abruptly, Rafe stood up from the table and walked over to the counter, closing his eyes. Evelyn stayed at the table, tears still falling. He may understand, but he didn't want to hear about it. He gripped the countertop, his knuckles turning white, determined to stay and hear all that Evelyn had to say. She had been waiting too long to say this; she needed to say this and he needed to hear it, he knew, no matter how much it hurt.   
  
"It was wrong and I knew it," she practically whispered. "...and I think Danny suspected it....but there he was the next day...asking for my friendship...and whatever else I could give him. He wasn't you, but he was a good man. He cared about me, he made me laugh....he made me want to live again." She sighed. "He made me strong. But he wasn't you."  
  
"You chose him," Rafe finally said, his voice void of any emotion. "You chose, Danny." She had loved him, he knew. She had said it. She loved him, but yet she chose Danny. The fact still grated on his heart.  
  
"Yes, I did," Evelyn admitted. "I was pregnant, I had used him, but I loved him, not like you, but I loved him. He was my friend. I owed him the chance to raise his own child....I didn't have any other choice. I didn't want to hurt him. Can you understand that? I didn't feel like I had a choice. He had been so good to me." She watched Rafe's back for some kind of response, but again, he said nothing.   
  
Understanding didn't always help, Rafe realized. Sometimes you just have to accept it and move on.   
  
"I sat just outside the command post during the raid," Evelyn told him. This time Rafe looked over at her in surprise. "I sat there and I listened and I waited and I prayed. But I still didn't know if either of you had survived until you stepped off that plane. And I saw you and I thought my heart was going to burst...I was so relieved...you were alive, that you came back to me." Wiping away more tears, she looked away, unable to face him. "I didn't even think of Danny," she whispered. "I should have...I had promised him that I would be waiting for him...I was pregnant with his child...but I didn't even think about him once I saw you. And when you told me....I felt terribly sad...but it was nothing compared to the emptiness that I had felt when he told me that you had been shot down." Evelyn was crying steadily now, her voice hoarse, her cheeks wet with the tears that would not stop. "I was...relieved..." she shrugged helpless trying to convey how she had felt, "that he had died....and not you," she looked pleadingly up at Rafe. "Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? I loved him, but....I wanted you back more than I wanted him. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't love him enough."  
  
Evelyn continued to cry softly. Rafe stood watching her, unable to move towards her. He had no idea that she had felt that way. "I didn't know..." he said softly.  
  
"Of course you didn't know, Rafe," Evelyn said softly, looking up at him. "You didn't want to talk about it and it wasn't something I could just bring up in conversation. You were dealing with enough guilt, I didn't want to burden you with mine."  
  
Rafe felt that statement like a shot through his heart. Wasn't that what marriage was about? Sharing burdens with one another? Giving and recieving support? It seemed that he had done a lot of recieving, but very little giving over the years. "And when he came back?" Rafe asked. "Why didn't you try to tell me then?"  
  
Evelyn rolled her eyes at him. "Do you remember any of the last year since Kate showed up?" she asked. "If we mentioned Danny you would leave the room. You kept yourself so bottled up - I couldn't say anything. I love you Rafe," she told him seriously. "You are the only man I want to spend my life with, but you are not perfect. Danny and I have been through a lot together....and whatever our past....we are friends now. He and I have always been able to talk and we've talked about what happened, about how we felt and how we feel now. The past is not an issue for us, but you," she shook her head. "You aren't willing to talk about it. I'm sorry if we hurt you. I'm sorry if you are hurting now, but please just talk to me. Let me help."  
  
Rafe came over to kneel in front of Evelyn, taking her hands into his, hating the fact that he had made her lay her heart wide open for his inspection and then forced her to beg him to do the same. "I'm so sorry," he told her. He reached up to wipe her tears away. "I guess I've been a poor excuse for a husband," he smiled at her lopsidedly. "I love you so much. So much. I look at you and...I'm home," he shrugged. "You are everything to me and I want to give you everything...and I can't." Evelyn frowned, but Rafe didn't let her speak. "I understand now, about you and Danny. He and I talked about it, and I thought I understood, but I didn't really." He stood up, then sat down and pulled Evelyn onto his lap. "You and Danny are a lot of alike," he told her. "Both strong, caring....and you tackle problems head on." He paused, trying to find a way to explain to Evelyn what he had realized.  
  
"Danny didn't have a very good home life," he began. "I don't know if he told you, but his mom died when he was really young, and his dad used to...hit him...a lot." Rafe still felt a burst of rage run through him at the memory of Danny's father hurting him. "After the bastard shot himself, Danny didn't say much. He moved in with us and for a week or two, he just didn't talk. I thought it was a relief that his father was dead, you know? Good riddance. Then one night I woke up, and I heard crying...and I went downstairs to Danny's room. My mom was there, holding him as he....sobbed. I waited until my mom left and I asked her why he was crying and my mom said that he just needed someone to talk to, to let go of his grief. She said he wasn't like me, he couldn't keep it all inside, he had to share it to get over it. I thought that was a weakness, but....he was my friend." Rafe shook his head. "I didn't understand what she meant, but when she died...it was my father and Danny who cried at her funeral. They were the ones who looked through the family photos and....remembered. I couldn't. I would leave the room. And for years, I couldn't even think about my mother. I couldn't even look at her picture...but Danny had one of her. He kept it with him in a frame...along with a picture of us as kids. It sat next to his bunk. And I couldn't even look at it."  
  
Rafe sighed, knowing that he was rambling, but Evelyn hadn't uttered a sound since he began to talk. "I guess I'm saying that you and Danny are alike, in that respect," he said. "You need to share your grief, you don't...hide it, you both work through it. It's not surprising that you .....found ...each other while I was...presumed dead. I get so wrapped up in what I'm feeling, that I don't think of others..of what they might be feeling and I'm sorry for that Ev," he told her. "I should have done better. I should have...supported you. I knew that you were missing Danny, that you had lost him too, but I was so jealous...even when he was dead. It's not right, I know, but I love you. I love you both. And I'm sorry."  
  
Evelyn smiled up at Rafe, her face still damp with tears. "Thank you," she whispered. Rafe looked at her curiously, not understanding. "Thank you for talking to me," she explained. "And for listening," she added. "I know it wasn't easy for you."  
  
"No," Rafe agreed. "It wasn't easy. But it was something I should have done long ago." He hugged her to him, one of his burdens seeming to have melted away.  
  
They sat there comfortably for awhile, both lost in there own thoughts.  
  
"Rafe," Evelyn said tentatively, knowing that she was about to tread on dangerous ground. "You said earlier that you wanted to give me everything, but that you couldn't...what did you mean by that?"  
  
Rafe's heart skipped a beat. He was hoping that she hadn't picked up on that, or if she had, that she would leave it alone. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing would come out.  
  
Evelyn sat up, looking into his pain filled eyes. "It's not just me and Danny, and our past that is bothering you, is it?" she asked softly.  
  
Rafe shook his head. "No, it's not," he admitted.  
  
"There's more to your....jealousy...of Danny," she stated, seeing the answer in his eyes. "You said that he gave me a child and you can't." Rafe flinched. "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
Rafe looked away. "Honestly? No, I don't," he told her, feeling the dejected slump of her shoulders when she thought that he was shutting her out again. "But I guess I need to."  
  
Evelyn smiled. "Okay," she said, waiting for him to continue.  
  
Rafe ran his hand over his face. "I don't know what to say...where to start," he told her, feeling terribly vulnerable. "Danny's my best friend, my brother. We've done everything together...but I've...I've always been the leader. More experienced, more...daring. Danny would always be right beside me, but I would be the one making things happen. And now," he paused, feeling foolish and petty, "things have changed. I've spent the past 3 and a half years in a fighter plane, while he spent those years surviving in China...and raising Grace. I get home and Little Danny doesn't even recognize me. Danny comes home and Grace and little Danny are all over him. And he's good. He's a great father. He reminds me of my father, actually. And I don't feel...like I can...compete..with him," Rafe admited, ashamed of his feelings.  
  
"You're a great father," Evelyn said fervently. "Danny loves you, and Grace too. Danny may have had more time with Grace, but that doesn't matter. You are a great father. You shouldn't compare yourself to him."  
  
"I know," he said. "And I know that little Danny loves me..and Grace too. It's just that sometimes I feel like I feel like I'm struggling and Danny is so natural."  
  
"All parents feel that way," Evelyn reassured him. "You shouldn't feel jealous, there's no reason to be."  
  
Rafe smiled wryly at her. "How can I not be jealous of a man who seems to be capable of impregnating every woman he comes in contact with?"  
  
Evelyn's eyes widened in shock, "Oh...." was all she was able to say at first, surprised that he would come out and say it that way. "So that's what all this is about." Rafe nodded. It all made sense to Evelyn now. Rafe obviously felt that he was at fault for their inabilty to get pregnant, and Danny....Evelyn's ex lover and father of her child....had become his target. Danny had two children...three if you counted Grace, and Rafe had been unable to produce one. It was only natural that Rafe's feelings might turn into jealousy where Danny was concerned. As much as Rafe loved him, there were problems that hadn't been resolved between them.   
  
"I love Danny with all my heart," Rafe told Evelyn. "I truly do. But I want to...give...you more children. I see you look at Sam, and I know that you want another baby. And I see Danny watching Kate....playing with Sam....I see the pride and love in his face....and I want that too. I want to hold a baby of our own in my arms. I missed Danny growing up, and....I want another chance."  
  
Evelyn closed her eyes, a few tears slipping down her cheeks again in response to the anguish in her husband's voice. "Rafe...." she said softly, her heart breaking for him. "I don't know why...nothing has happened yet....It might not be your...problem...it could be mine. I don't know. It's too early to worry..."  
  
"But you are worried, aren't you," he asked. "You're wondering what's wrong. You want another baby."  
  
"Yes, I would like another baby," she told him. "And I have wondered...why...it hasn't happened yet, but Rafe, if it doesn't happen...if for some reason I can't get pregnant...it's okay."   
  
Rafe snorted in disbelief. "How is it okay?"  
  
"It's okay, because I will still have you," she told him, looking into his eyes. "I love you, Rafe. That's enough for me. I can have all kinds of wants unfulfilled...but as long as I have you....That's enough."  
  
"Are you sure?" Rafe asked tentatively, afraid to believe. "I know you want another baby..."  
  
"I would like another one, yes," she agreed, stroking his face. "But it's enough to just have you. You are everything to me," she said, repeating his words. "You are all I need."  
  



	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9  
  
Breakfast was a quiet affair, the adults all lost in their own thoughts. Kate had immediately noticed Evelyn's red eyes when she walked into the room, but it wasn't until they were cleaning up that she was able to ask her friend if anything was wrong.  
  
Evelyn smiled. "No, nothing's wrong," she told her.  
  
Kate looked at her skeptically. "Ev, your eyes are puffy and bright red...you've been crying. Are you sure that you're okay?"  
  
Spontaneously Evelyn hugged her. "I'm fine. Thank you for caring. Rafe and I had a talk....and things are fine now." She grinned and shrugged her shoulders. "Or they will be soon, now that he's finally opened up."  
  
"He did?" Kate asked, her eyes wide with shock.  
  
Evelyn nodded. "He did. It wasn't easy, and my nerves feel streched and raw, but we finally talked. I finally know what's going on in that stubborn head of his."  
  
"It's about time," Kate said. Reaching out a hand, she gave Evelyn's arm a squeeze. "I'm glad, Ev. I'm really, really glad."  
  
"I'm going to miss you," Evelyn said, once again hugging her. "What will I do without you?"  
  
Kate felt her eyes begin to well with tears. "I'm going to miss you too," she whispered hoarsely. "You are the best friend that I've ever had....my new sister."  
  
Evelyn laughed, her voice dewy with tears too. "Well, you make sure to write me...and call if you can."  
  
"I will," Kate replied, pulling away. "About last night..." she began, her face flushing slightly. "I'm really sorry about my...mother and sister. I'd like to say that they usually aren't that bad....but I'd be lieing."  
  
"It's okay," Evelyn said, smiling at Kate's honesty. "They weren't that bad." Kate raised an eyebrow, amused. Evelyn laughed softly. "Okay, they were that bad...but it's still okay. You're family. You're what counts...not them."  
  
"Thanks," Kate responded shyly.  
  
"Evelyn," Rafe's said, startling them both. "You have to let her leave before you can miss her," he joked, walking over to them. "And we are going to miss you," he said to Kate, giving her a hug. "You take care of him, you hear?" he told her. "He'll probably try to study himself to death...reading and writing all the time. Make sure he gets some play time in too." He winked at her and Kate blushed. "And take care of yourself and those kids....I think I'm going to miss them as much as Danny is!"  
  
Kate laughed, tears slipping down her cheeks. "I'll do my best," she promised, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "And you take care too."  
  
"I will," he told her, giving her one last squeeze. "I will."  
  
"Kate," Danny said, from his vantage point on the porch. "It's time to go. Sam's already asleep in the car...we can get a couple hours of driving in before he wakes up."  
  
"Yeah, okay," she replied, wiping her tears. Smiling over at Evelyn, she followed Danny outside, Rafe and Evelyn just behind her.  
  
They stood for a moment, watching Grace and Danny run around the yard. Danny looked over at Rafe. "Well, I guess this is it," he said. "It seems strange to be leaving...I spent so much time trying to get here."  
  
"Yeah, well," Rafe said, hugging his friend and patting him on the back, "This time you're coming back soon. Take care of yourself Danny. Don't study too hard."  
  
Danny grinned, shrugging self consciously. "You know me," he offered.  
  
"Yeah, I do," Rafe smirked. "So don't wear yourself out....I'm sure Kate and Grace will keep you in line."  
  
Danny smiled over at his wife. "I'm sure they will." Turning to Evelyn, Danny paused awkwardly. "Bye Ev," he told her.   
  
Without hesitation Evelyn moved to embrace him. "Good-bye Danny." She kissed him on the cheek. "Take care of yourself." Letting go, Evelyn moved back to Rafe's side, nestling against him as he threw an arm around her shoulders.  
  
"I will," Danny said with a small grin. He had noticed her eyes earlier, but he had also noticed the lack of tension in Rafe. He'd have to ask Kate what exactly had happened, but he had the feeling that Rafe had finally decided to talk to Evelyn. "You take care, too."  
  
"Write to us," Evelyn ordered.  
  
"I will," Danny nodded. Looking out over the yard, Danny spotted Grace moving for the chicken coop. "Grace!" he called, arresting her stealthy movements instantly. "It's time to go. Come say good bye to Uncle Rafe and Aunt Evelyn."  
  
Reluctantly, Grace walked slowly over to the group of adults, kicking up as much dirt as possible along the way, Danny behind her, mimicking her movements. "I don' wanna go," she pouted. "I wanna stay."  
  
Danny squatted down in front of her, gently brushing her long hair behind her ear. "I know sweetheart, but we have to go. We'll be back for Christmas...that's not too far away. And in a couple years we'll live in that big house we looked at last week. You can visit here everyday."  
  
"I wanna stay," she said sulkily, toeing the dirt.  
  
"I know," Danny smiled, "But we have to go. Now give Uncle Rafe a kiss good bye. I have a feeling he's going to miss you a lot." Turning her gently, he gave her a little push in Rafe's direction, but she didn't need much help as she launched herself into her Uncle's arms.  
  
Danny turned to look at little Danny, who was staring forlornly at Grace. "Hey Danny," he said softly, "How about a hug goodbye from you?" he asked. Little Danny nodded, walking into Danny's open arms. Danny stood up, holding him close and pressing his nose against his son's hair - wanting to remember the feel of his little body in his arms. "Now, you take care of your mama, for me. Don't bother the chickens to much...and make sure that your daddy doesn't hurt the plane, okay? You watch him real close..." Little Danny nodded solemnly. "I'm going to miss you," Danny said, his heart tightening. Before he lost total control, Danny handed the little boy to Kate. He was thankful that Rafe's attention was focused on Grace. His eyes met Evelyn's briefly. She smiled reassuringly at him, knowing how hard it was for him to say good bye to little Danny.  
  
All their good byes said, Kate and Danny got into the car after placing Grace in the back seat next to the sleeping Sam. Rolling down his window, Danny looked at his friends as he started the car. He smiled. "See you in December."  
  
Rafe bent to pick up little Danny who was tugging on his pant leg. "Yeah, December," he agreed. "But don't forget to write!"  
  
"I won't," Danny said. "We'll be expecting some letters from you too, you know."  
  
"That's Evelyn's department," Rafe told him with a grin.  
  
Danny laughed. "See you Rafe."  
  
"Take care, Danny," Rafe replied, waving a hand as the car pulled out of the yard and onto the drive. "Good luck," he said softly to the retreating car.  
  
  
  



	10. Chapter 10

Christmas 1945  
  
"They're here! They're here," young Danny said as he ran through the kitchen and out the door onto the porch.  
  
Evelyn smiled, drying her wet hands on a tea towel. "Slow down, Danny!" she called to the excited boy. Looking into the oven she saw that the cookies were close enough to being done. She took them out and followed her son, grabbing his coat and her sweater on the way.  
  
The black car was just rounding the barn as she stepped onto the porch. Danny was hopping up in down with excitment. He had missed Grace desperately. Evelyn put his coat on him and then sent him off. She waved happily at the car's occupants. She had missed her friend too. She and Kate had exchanged weekly letters, so they knew everything that was going on in each other's lives, but it wasn't the same as sitting across the table peeling veggetables or chatting over a cup of tea while the kids played outside.  
  
Stepping down the stairs, Evelyn reached for the passenger door. She laughed lightly at Kate's green face. "Some things never change," she said, offering Kate a hand out.  
  
"I hate this damn car," Kate said through clenched teeth.  
  
Rafe, who had come up from the barn, laughed. "You're not going to pass out on me are you?"  
  
Kate tried to glare at him, but failed miserably. "I just might...so you be nice to me Rafe!"  
  
"I'll get Sam...if that's okay," Evelyn said. "You go on inside. I have some hot water going. Danny!" she said to her son, "leave the door alone. I'll get it. Grace is on the other side," she shooed him around the car, smiling again at his excitment. Picking up the sleeping baby she followed Kate into the kitchen.  
  
Rafe picked up Danny as he ran around the car. "Hey, boy...slow down. Grace is sleeping, see," he said, holding him to the car window. "Why don't you say hi to your uncle."  
  
"Hi Uncle Danny," he said, leaning to give Danny a hug. "Can you wake up Grace now?"  
  
Danny laughed, setting the squirming boy down. "I guess I can. Hey Rafe," he said to his friend, shaking his hand. "It's good to be home."  
  
"You're looking good," Rafe said, smiling. "Don't look too worn out."  
  
"It's not too bad yet," Danny replied. Opening the back door, he unbuckled Grace. "Hey, Gracie," he whispered. "We're here. Time to wake up. Danny's waiting for you."  
Her eyes fluttered open briefly, but she didn't wake up. Danny picked her up. "You know," he said to Rafe and Danny, "she talked the whole way here about seeing you guys, and then fell asleep twenty minutes ago." He looked over at Danny. "Let's get her inside and let her wake up a bit more, okay? Then she'll be ready to play."  
  
"You go on in," Rafe told him. "I'll take care of your bags."  
  
"Thanks Rafe."  
  
Inside, Evelyn was busy making tea and exclaiming about how much Sam had grown. Kate had regained her normal coloring and was helping with the cookies, Sam balanced on one hip. Everything fell easily back into their normal patterns. Kate smiled up at Danny as he walked in with Grace. "Won't wake up?" she asked her husband.  
  
"She's awake," he told her, "just a bit groggy. Hey Ev," he said, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "How are you?"  
  
"Good," she smiled. "Hey, Grace," she said, patting her niece's back and trying to see her face that was buried against Danny's neck. "I made some chocolate chip cookies - just for you. So when you wake up, you and Danny can have some, okay?"  
  
"Cookies?!" Grace exclaimed, her sleepiness immediately forgotten. "Can I have 4?" she asked.  
  
Evelyn laughed. "I think so. This is a special occasion."  
  
"Grace! Grace!" little Danny called from below, jumping up and down. "Wanna come to see my room? Mama fixed the bed for you and Ramsey got one too and I got a new plane." Diving out her father's arms, Grace followed Danny out of the room.  
  
Evelyn shook her head. "He's been driving us crazy all week."  
  
"Grace hasn't stopped talking about Danny since we told her it we were coming back for Christamas," Kate told her. "She wanted to bring all her toys to show him."  
  
Rafe came into the kitchen carrying three suitcases, a cold draft of air swirling through the room. "How long are you staying?" he asked, dropping the bags heavily.  
  
Danny laughed, going over to help. "I don't have to be back until the fourth, so only about 2 weeks."  
  
"There's two more bags out there!" Rafe exclaimed, shaking his head. "You didn't leave with this much stuff."  
  
Picking up the suitcases Danny started walking towards their room. "Kate did the packing...." he told Rafe, earning a playful swat from his wife as he passed by.  
  
"Two of them have presents in them," she defended. "And one has all of Danny's books...I didn't pack those."  
  
Rafe groaned. "You brought school work?"  
  
"I have some reading to do," Danny called from down the hall. "It's not my fault...and it's not a lot."  
  
"How's school going?" Evelyn asked as she served up cookies on to a plate for Grace and Danny.  
  
"Fine, fine," Danny told her, walking back into the kitchen and snagging a cookie for himself. "It's not too hard at the moment. I'm just taking some to the basic requirement classes."  
  
"He's doing really good," Kate beamed at him. "Don't be fooled by his modesty."  
  
Danny blushed slightly, and Rafe laughed. "Oh, I knew he would."  
  
"I like school," Danny said. "The classes are interesting and..." he shrugged helplessly, "I'm good at it, I guess."  
  
"Well, it takes all kinds..." Rafe winked at Danny. His liking of school was an old joke between them. While Rafe was a smart man, he had hated school and all it's rigid criteria and structure. He preferred to learn on his own, through experience or what others could tell him. With his learning problem, that was what worked best for him. Danny on the other hand loved books. He loved being challenged to write a paper or prove a proof. School came naturally to him. He thrived in it's environment. Surprisingly, this difference in temperment hadn't hindered their friendship. They had instinctively realized the benefits of each other's learning methods and how they complimented each other. So Rafe broadened Danny's mind outside of the classroom, and Danny helped Rafe to get through the school work he hated. What could have been a hinderance had only made their friendship stronger.  
  
"Yeah, all kinds," Danny agreed. "So, did you manage to get the old plane fixed, or...."  
  
"Funny you should mention that," Rafe interrupted. "I've been waiting for you....."  
  
Danny groaned. He leaned down to kiss Kate. "This could take awhile," he whispered, causing her to giggle. "When's dinner?" he asked more loudly.   
  
"In about an hour," Evelyn told him, smiling. "So don't get too greasy."  
  
"Oh, it shouldn't take me that long," Danny winked at her.  
  
"Don't get so cocky, Walker," Rafe told him. "Even Jeramiah was out here to look at it."  
  
Grabbing his coat, Danny followed Rafe out to the barn, arguing good naturedly about the pros and cons of Jeremiah as an airplane mechanic.  
  
Kate and Evelyn watched them go, both smiling broadly. Evelyn looked over at Kate. "I'm so glad you're back."  
  
Kate nodded, letting out a deep sigh of contentment. "It's good to be here."  
  
  
  
Dinner was a causal affair. Evelyn had made a beef stew and homemade bread. Everyone talked and chatted as they ate their fill, catching up on all the details that couldn't be put in a letter. By the time the kitchen was cleaned and the kids were in bed, the adults were exhausted. Rafe started a fire and Kate curled up on the couch, her head resting on Danny's lap. Evelyn knitted in the rocking chair, working on a Christmas stocking for Sam. It felt good just to be together again.  
  
"So any idea what this one is going to be?" Evelyn asked.  
  
"Boy," Kate replied softly, her eyes not opening.  
  
"Girl," Danny said at the same time.   
  
Everyone chuckled.   
  
"It's a boy, I'm telling you," Kate said, opening her eyes drowsily. "This one feels the same as Sam...Grace felt different...It's definitely a boy."  
  
"Well, it's 50-50," Danny pointed out. "I could be right."  
  
"But you're not," Kate smiled, closing her eyes again. Danny's hand ran through her hair gently playing with her soft curls.  
  
"We'll see."  
  
"So, if she's due in May....what does that mean at school for you?" Evelyn asked Danny.  
  
Danny smiled wryly. "It means that I won't be getting a lot of sleep and I better not fall behind. Term ends May 31st, so I have to be ready."  
  
"Will you be coming back then, or are you going to stay for the summer?" Rafe asked while he poked at the fire.  
  
Danny shrugged. "We haven't decided yet. I guess it depends on Kate. If she's feeling fine then I'll probably go through the summer. I'll have a couple weeks off in June and again in August, but I don't know if we'll make it back here." He frowned. He didn't like the idea of not coming back, especially now that he was here and remembered how comfortable it was, but the sooner he got his degree...the sooner they could move back permanently.  
  
"How are things going for her now?" Rafe asked, moving to sit in the chair next to Evelyn.  
  
"Fine," Danny answered, smiling down at her. "I'm not the only old man there. There are a lot of other guys just out of the war. Some of them are married. There's even a couple of kids. It seems to be working out fine."  
  
"Except for turning green every time she steps foot into a car," Rafe chuckled.  
  
"Rafe!" Evelyn chastised him.  
  
Danny smiled. "Well, she doesn't need to drive anywhere, really, so it hasn't been a problem. She was getting better, it was probably just the long ride here that got to her. Short trips don't affect her anymore. Though she won't take the bus....all the stopping and starting. She....."  
  
"She's listening, Daniel Walker," Kate interrupted, "so there is no need to tell that story."  
  
Danny leaned down to kiss her cheek. "Sorry, but it's such a good story.'  
  
Kate opened one eye to look at him. "Tell it and I will make sure Santa puts coal in your stocking."  
  
Holding up his hands in surrender, Danny grinned. "Okay, okay. I won't say a word." Looking over at Evelyn, he changed the topic. "So how are things with you? How's Danny handling the seperation? Grace was miserable for the first few weeks."  
  
Rafe smiled gently. "He followed me around like a lost puppy for at least a month. He and Ramsey made quite a sad pair. It was pitiful," he shook his head ruefully. "And I'd like to say thanks to you - Uncle Danny, for telling him to watch over me when I work on the plane," Rafe laughed. "It got so bad that I would wait until he was napping, or get up early in the morning."  
  
"Sorry," Danny managed to say without laughing too hard. "It was just a saftey precaution - look what I came home to!"  
  
"Now that wasn't my fault," Rafe protested. "That plane is just old...it was bound to break sooner or later."  
  
"Sure, sure," Danny replied with a grin.  
  
"Now you two," Evelyn chastised, a grin flittering across her face too. "Stop it. Play nice."  
  
"Well, were is the fun it that?" Rafe asked with a mock frown on his face.   
  
Danny just laughed. "Yes, ma'am."  
  
There was a comfortable silence as they all sat and watched the fire burning. The clicking of Evelyn's needles and the popping of the fire the only sounds in the room.  
  
'I think it's time I took Kate to bed," Danny finally said, still stoking her hair. "It's getting late, and I'm sure the kids will be up early tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah," Rafe agreed, standing and stretching. "Ready Ev?" he asked, holding a hand out to her. She smiled putting down her knitting. Taking Rafe's hand she stood.  
  
"Is she asleep?" she asked softly, looking down at Kate.  
  
"No," Kate said, her voice low, her eyes still closed.  
  
Danny shifted her in his arms, easily rising off the couch. Kate snuggled against his chest, one arm around his neck.   
  
"I can walk," she protested sleepily.  
  
"But I want to carry you," Danny replied, kissing her forhead.  
  
"Mmmm," Kate mumbled.  
  
"Good night," Danny said to Rafe and Evelyn. "See you in the morning."  
  
"Night, Danny. Night Kate."  
  
"G'night."  
  
Rafe and Evelyn stood for a moment watching Danny gently carry his wife down the hall to their bedroom. When the door was closed, Evelyn took Rafe's hand and led him upstairs to their room.  
  
"You know, he's changed," Rafe said after they had changed for bed and were pulling back the covers.  
  
"How so?" Evelyn asked, slipping into bed.  
  
"I don't know, really," Rafe shrugged. "He's just not the same as he was....before."  
  
Evelyn slid over and into Rafe's arms, settling her head on his chest. "Before what?"  
  
Rafe thought about it for a bit. "Before...everything. Before Pearl, before China....just...before."  
  
"Well," Evelyn said, "he's lived through a lot. We all have, but Danny more than most."  
  
"There's that," Rafe agreed, "but it's more. I don't know how to explain it." He sighed. "It's like when we were growing up....I felt like I always had to protect him, that I was somehow respondsible for him. And Danny was so serious all the time. He barely ever smiled. I never really thought about that before...but he never smiled. He'd grin, or something, but never smile."  
  
"I think I see what you are saying," Evelyn said. "I can't really remember him smiling...not a real, full fledged smile. One that lights up his face. He's still serious, but...."  
  
"That's it. He's still serious...but he's happier. When he see's Kate...his whole face lights up. He smiles at her. He really smiles. Teeth and all," Rafe chuckled.  
  
"She lights up too," Evelyn pointed out. "You can see it...in every look and every touch...they love each other very much."  
  
"Yeah, they do," Rafe agreed. "I think Danny finally grew up. For so long I felt like he was my little brother, a part of me...and now...he's his own man." He thought for a minute. "I guess we both grew up - fell in love, got married. For the first time Danny and I are together...and in the same place in our lives. I'm not leading him...and he's not following me. We just...are."  
  
Evelyn thought for a moment. "I think...." she began slowly, "that Danny finally found that one person that he was meant to find," she told Rafe. "He hasn't had the easiest life...and everything has always been overshadowed by it...but now...he's found Kate and he's....complete. And Kate too, I think." She turned to look up at Rafe. "Just like us," she said softly. "Our lives may not have been as...harsh...as Danny's and Kate's, but we found each other. I see the love Kate has for Danny, and I know that that is how I feel about you. That's why it was so hard when I thought I had lost you. You and I were meant to be together....just like Danny and Kate."  
  
Rafe gently carressed his wife check, amazed at how well she could articulate the feelings that coursed between them. "Meant to be," he agreed with a smile. "I love you." Leaning in he kissed her softly. "Danny's a lucky man if he feels half as much in love with Kate as I feel for you."  
  
Snuggling against him, Evelyn sighed. "No Rafe," she told him. "I'm the lucky one."  
  
  



	11. Final Chapter

Ch 11  
  
Rafe walked as quietly as he could down the stairs, cursing silently under his breath as he stepped on the creaky one. It's was early morning...barely 6:30, but he couldn't stay in bed anymore. There wasn't much he could do this early in the morning in the winter, but he still liked his quiet time. Walking into the living room he was startled by a soft voice.  
  
"How long have you lived here Rafe? And you still hit that creaky step every time," Danny said laughing softly. He was laid out on the couch with a large book propped open on his chest.  
  
Rafe smiled sheepishly at him. "Yeah well....what are you doing up?"  
  
"Habit," Danny shrugged. "Morning is the best time for me to study. My classes don't start until 9 or 10. I usually get up at 5 and get some reading in before Kate and the kids wake up."  
  
"Did you make coffee?" Rafe asked, walking into the kitchen.  
  
"Yeah, it should still be warm."  
  
Grabbing a cup of coffee, Rafe came back into the living room, sitting in the chair opposite his friend. "So, what're you reading," he asked, enjoying the aroma of the coffee as the cup warmed his hands.  
  
"Shakespeare....Henry V," he replied closing the book and grabbing his own cup.  
  
"Figures," Rafe chuckled. "No light reading for you in the morning, is there?"  
  
Danny grinned slightly. "Well, I could have been reading my psychology text."  
  
"Oh god....no, anything but that," Rafe joked. "Seriously...things are going well?"  
  
"Yeah, Rafe," Danny nodded. "Things are going fine. The classes are good and Kate and the kids are adjusting well. Kate's actually reading some of my course books...and she's a great proofreader when it comes time for me to turn in my papers." Danny shook his head in wonder. "She should be going to college too, but she doesn't want to. She's happy with the kids. She's thinking about running a kind of cooperative child care program for the mothers....and she's also started a book group. She's actually busier than I am. I just go to class and study."  
  
Rafe sipped his coffee, smiling, seeing how proud Danny was of his wife. "Two of a kind," he said. "Evelyn was right. You two were meant for each other."  
  
"Meant for each other?" Danny questioned, his eyebrow raised slightly.  
  
"Yeah," Rafe said, feeling slightly uncomfortable talking about such a topic. "Evelyn and I were talking about it last night....how happy you guys are. And she said that it was obvious that you were meant for each other." He shrugged. "She's got a point. I've never seen you smile so much - and I've known you for as long as I can remember."  
  
"Well, I never thought of it in those terms," Danny said, staring into his coffee, "but Kate....she's the best of me. She's everything. I honestly don't know how I lived without her in my life." He laughed lightly. "It's sounds....sappy, I know, but that's the way I feel. I look at her sometimes...it doesn't matter what she's doing: reading, washing the dishes, sleeping, changing a diaper...it doesn't matter...and my heart feels like it's going to burst I'm so happy." He glanced sheepishly over at Rafe.  
  
"I think I know how you feel," Rafe said quietly.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you do," Danny replied.  
  
The sat for a moment. The hall clock ticking quietly in the background as they sipped their coffee.  
  
"You know," Rafe said suddenly. "I think my mom would be really happy right about now."  
  
Danny looked up abruptly, surprised that Rafe was bringing up his mother. "Really?"  
  
"She always wanted a big family, but both her and dad didn't have brothers or sisters...and then there was only me...until you moved in. I think she would like it that we're here together, with our families. She'd really like that."  
  
"Yeah, she would," Danny smiled softly. "Your dad, too."  
  
"Yeah," Rafe agreed.  
  
"I think they'd like Kate," Danny said quietly. Jake and Lily McCawley had been the best guardians he could have ever had. They had taken him in without question. Danny could remember sitting in his living room after his dad's funeral, a man from social services was talking to him, explaining what was to happen to him since none of his relatives wanted to take him in. He had never felt so abandoned and unwanted. And then Jake McCawley had walked in with Judge Nelson from the county court. Within minutes the social services man had left and Danny's bags were packed. He was going to live with the McCawley's. He never really had a chance to thank them for all the unconditional love and support they had given him. He deeply regretted that now. "Did your dad get a chance to meet Ev?" Danny asked.  
  
Rafe nodded. "He did. Danny too. We came here shortly after Danny was born - Ev was going to take care of Dad while I was gone. He was pretty sick. He died in April of '43."  
  
"I'm sorry," Danny said unnecesarily. He had loved Jake McCawley more than his own father.  
  
"He went quietly...and I like to think happily," Rafe told his friend. "He loved to spend time with Danny. Ev says that's what kept him going for so long."  
  
"He was a good man....I'm sorry I didn't get to see him again. I would have liked to have told him...." Danny stopped, unable to find the right words to express how much Jake had meant to him.  
  
"He knew," Rafe reassured Danny. "He knew."  
  
"I hope so."  
  
"We've come a long way since we used to sneak out and go skinny dipping with the Kendricks," Rafe said, still looking into his coffee.  
  
"Yes, we have," Danny agreed, watching Rafe carefully. He could see the slight frown between his brows as he contemplated his cup, an obvious sign that there was something Rafe wanted to say, but he wasn't quite sure how to.  
  
"We've been through more than we ever thought was possible when we left here," Rafe started. "Before we left to join the army...my dad and I had a talk. He told me that the road in front of me might be long and twisted, or if I was lucky...straight and true, but that no matter what, I should remember that I would always have someone walking beside me - you." Rafe looked up at Danny his eyes calm and serious. "He said that he felt better knowing that we'd be going off to training...and possibly to war...together, because he knew that we would look out for each other. That we weren't just friends, we were brothers...and that would be our strength when times got tough. He was right," Rafe told Danny earnestly. "Knowing you were on my wing, or just beside me - that made me stronger, more confident. And when you were dead, when I thought you were dead...that was the lonliest I've ever been. I felt like....I was flying blind. You weren't there, and all the anger, all the jealousy....it didn't matter any more. I just wanted you back alive."  
  
Danny watched Rafe struggle with the words, amazed that he was willingly opening himself up. He could feel his own heart tightening in response to his friends emotional words. He understood what Rafe was saying because he felt the same way. He always had. They were brothers.  
  
"I know Rafe," Danny told him softly. "I understand."  
  
Rafe grinned slightly. "I know you do." He paused. "I just want to say thank you....for the sacrafices you've made for me....beyond the call of brothers."  
  
Shaking his head, Danny protested. "I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done for me, Rafe."  
  
"I'm not talking about China," Rafe explained. "I'm talking about....Danny."  
  
"Oh," was the only thing Danny could say. He had not expected this.  
  
"I want you to know that Evelyn and I had always planned to tell him...about you. And now...God, I wish I could do the noble thing and step aside....but..." he trailed off, his voice becoming hoarse as he tried to find the words.  
  
"I love Danny," Danny said, his own voice hoarse. "He is my son and I will always love him....but you are his father, Rafe. I...can't tell you that it doesn't sometimes...hurt....to see him and...you. But, you are his father. I can't....I won't...step in and confuse the whole situation. What would his life be like if he grew up with a family that was so...divided....a father in one house with one wife...a mother in another? The gossips in town would have a field day." Danny shook his head slowly. "I believe that this is the best thing for everyone. Danny doesn't need to be confused like that. I'll be away for the next 4 or more years...he doesn't need a father who's not here. I can be his uncle, that will be enough."  
  
"You're sure?" Rafe asked quietly.  
  
Danny nodded. "I'm sure."  
  
"We can't keep it a secret from him forever," Rafe said. "He's bound to find out someday. I won't hide the truth from him."  
  
Danny smiled a little. "Okay. As long as he's safe and happy and loved....that's all he needs from us."  
  
The soft scampering of little feet in the upstairs hall broke into the serious moment. Both men smiled as the listen to the footsteps coming down the stairs, deliberatly jumping over the creaky step and continueing.   
  
"Even they have it figured out," Danny chided Rafe softly.  
  
They watched as the two children crept from the stairwell towards the kitchen, not seeing the two men watching them.  
  
"Just what do you to think you're doing up?" Rafe asked in a loud voice.  
  
Danny jumped and Grace let out a little squeak. Turning into the living room, Danny leapt into his father's lap. "Daddy, you 'gared us!"  
  
Grace stood beside them, hands planted firmly on her hips, a scowl on her face. "That wa'n't nice, Uncle Rafe. You made me be loud and mama and Sam are sleeping."  
  
"I'm sorry Grace," Rafe smiled, touseling her hair. "But you guys were being so sneaky. I couldn't help myself."  
  
"What were you up to, Miss Grace," Danny asked, trying to hide his grin.  
  
Grace shuffled over to her father, her head low and cocked to the side, a small smile on her face as she looked at him with her big green eyes. "Well...Danny an' I are hungry an'...well...Aunt Evelyn made cookies for me....an' well, we didn't want to wake mama...so we thought...."  
  
Danny looked at Grace sternly. "So you thought you'd sneak down here and have cookies for breakfast?" he asked, his brows raised in question.  
  
"Uh huh," Grace nodded, her foot tracing the carpet pattern as she tried to look meek.  
  
"It was Grace's idea," young Danny chimed in. "I wan'ed to wake up daddy, but she said we should sneek." Grace glared at him.  
  
Rafe laughed. "Well, it would have been a good idea to ask first, but a word of advice......" he smiled down at the boy, "don't ever rat out your friend."  
  
"Yes sir," Danny replied solemnly. "Sorry Grace."  
  
Grace wasn't interested in apologies, she was too busy giving her father 'the look' that always seemed to bend him to her will. "We're soooooo hungry daddy," she said forlornly.  
  
Danny tried to hide his smile as he looked over at Rafe. "I don't know....what do you think, Rafe?"  
  
Rafe pretended to think about it for a moment. "Well, I'm a bit hungry myself.....there might be enough cookies for all of us...and if we're still hungry I suppose we can makes some pancakes too," he winked over at Danny. Both men smiling broadly as the two children started for the kitchen.  
  
"But don't tell your moms, okay?" Danny called after them as he got up off the couch. "I don't think they'd like the idea of you having cookies for breakfast. It'll be our secret"  
  
"No sir," little Danny said, pausing as was climbing onto the counter to get the cookie jar. "You don' rat out your friends or your daddies," he said, his brown eyes serious. "Right Grace?"  
  
"Right," she agreed, nodding her head emphatically.  
  
Rafe and Danny laughed. "That's right," Rafe agreed grabbing the cookie jar from his son and putting it on the table.  
  
"Who want's milk?" Danny asked, already getting glasses down from the cupboard. Grace scampered to get the milk out of the refrigerator.   
  
Soon the were all seated around the kitchen table, happily eating cookies and milk for breakfast. They talked about the coming holiday and when Santa would come, both children being curious as to how Santa actually got up and down the chimney with all the presents. Rafe and Danny did their best to explain it, but all they recieved for the efforts were two dubious looks.   
  
They're laughing converstation was interrupted by Evelyn just as they were fighting over the last of the cookies. "And just what do you think you are doing?" she asked, her arm crossed over her chest. "What are you eating?"  
  
The four culprits sitting around the table looked at each other guiltily.  
  
"Uh," little Danny began hesitantly. "We're haffing....cookies....do you want one?" he asked holding one out to his mother.  
  
Evelyn tried to keep a stern face, but she couldn't. "Only one?" she asked, her face breaking into a smile. "I'm so hungry...did you eat them all?" She moved to sit in the chair next to Rafe, his arm going around her shoulder and pulling her close.  
  
"You can have mine, Auntie Ev," Grace piped up. "And Daddy can pour you some milk."  
  
Evelyn smiled. "That would be wonderful." She looked up at Rafe, who leaned down and kissed her gently.  
  
Danny watched them, seeing the love between them. Seeing little Danny as he piled the cookies in front of his mother and climbed into Rafe's lap. It made him feel good to see them so happy. He didn't feel like he was abandoning his son. Little Danny was well loved and cared for. And he was happy for them. He felt a hand come to rest on his shoulder, lightly moving to play with his hair.  
  
"I guess I missed all the fun," Kate said, laughingly. "That's the last time I sleep in."  
  
"I think we're just going to have to make another batch," Evelyn said, smiling as the kids broke into cheers.  
  
Kate handed Sam to his father as she sat down next to him, her hand caressing his arm. "It's a lot of work....do you think we can find some helpers around here?"  
  
Grace and Danny immediately volunteered. "Me! Me! Danny and I can help!" Grace chimed in. "I know how to break the eggs! And Danny can help stir."  
  
"I wanna break eggs too," Danny said.  
  
"You don't know how," Grace told him.  
  
"Do to!" Danny retorted.  
  
"Do not!" Grace replied. Dismissing Danny's wants she turned to her mother. "Can we make them now?"  
  
Kate laughed. "I think so. And I think everyone can practice cracking the eggs," she said, seeing the stubborn look on young Danny's face as he glared at Grace. "We don't want any fighting, so we'll share the work. Okay, Grace?"  
  
Grace sighed dramatically. "Okay. But he's gonna get shells in it an' then we won' be able to eat the cookies."  
  
"I won't!" Danny declared indignantly.  
  
"Will too," Grace replied haughtily. "It takes lots and lots of practice to do it right."  
  
Danny opened his mouth to say something, but decided the best response was to simply stick out his tongue.  
  
Rafe laughed, giving him a squeeze. "Don't be rude....you'll learn how to crack eggs with the best of them, don't you worry."  
  
Evelyn and Kate stood up. "Let's find all the ingredients. Grace, you get the butter," Evelyn said. "And Danny, you go get the flour from the pantry."  
  
Danny and Rafe watched as their wives and children began to make the cookie dough. Smiles flittering across their faces at the harmony of it. This is were they all belonged. Together, as a family.  
  
Catching his eye Rafe smiled over at Danny seeing the same emotions of happiness and contentment reflected in his friends' eyes.   
  
And Danny couldn't help smiling back.  
  
End 11/11  
  
End Smiling Back IV  
  
  
  



End file.
